INCURABLE OPTIMIST

PHOTO: Viva Verde

I know I promised earlier I would reduce my amount of quote/photo posts, but I gave in. Actually this blog will be moving soon to a new space. A place where I can share some more personal thoughts candidly. In the mean time, take my offering of photos. Just to remind you, nature photography is a growing hobby for me. Here is a photo I took in the Muir Woods at the end of last year. I love the darkness of the woods, the lush greens, and peeps of sunlight. Something I look forward to in the future are photo trekking expeditions. You can go with a team of photographers and nature guides and explore the terra firma on feet with your lens and backpack. Everybody is snap happy. So you don't feel like you are over doing it. (Photogs: You know what I mean). I am going to make it happen this year. Don't know when or where yet, but this year for sure. This photo kind of reminds me of  "Avatar". I know it's completely different. But, it does. Does it for you? Am I the only one? BTW-- I am torn between Cameron and Bigelow. Loved both their works. Genius.

Thought for TODAY:

Photo: "The Long Road to Somewhere Exciting"

Who needs maps? Directions are ho-hum. Are you going to be that person all your life? Step it up. Change things. Be a catalyst for change. Evoke emotions. Allow yourself to be inspired. Inspire. Don't listen to this photo caption. It doesn't know you. You know You. Disregard this. Follow your heart. Be happy.

Thought of Today:

File Under:

PROBLEM SOLVING    graphic: www.faridarafique.com

Here Comes September

3 months left till 2010. Can you believe it? I can't. The year has flown by and frankly, so many changes in my life; consisting of  epiphanies, perseverance, diligence, faith, tears, smiles, gains, and losses. Man, this has been an eye-opening, life affirming year. Guess what? It's not over yet. That's right you have 3 more months to make something go. I have learned much, and I have taken some heart breaking times and turned them into lessons I needed to learn. There was no way I would have learned or toughen up with out enduring a little. I am grateful for those moments. Oh, and not to shock my readers with an emo post, but I just want to blurt out; "I forgive it all." I am letting stuff go. Delete. I sincerely believe every good action is rewarded in life and often we find ourselves giving to some who don't appreciate it. Call it optimism and hope that keeps your actions aligned with your heart.

Sometimes you are put in the position of supporting, cheering, and celebrating first. Because You believe all beautiful moments are on a divine clock for each individual. Oh well,No regrets. All you can do is honor your truest self; after all you know you best. You and the Guy upstairs. 

I have learned lately through my writing that I am an indeed a soft, yet strong person. I feel and I share. My life is a journey of expression. That is my purpose in life. To share messages of hope, triumph, humanity through various mediums. I am not a robot. I don't run on auto-pilot and only use exclamations points.

Not every day is super-out of this world amazing, but it is a gift and is amazing. It is amazing. Health, jobs, shelter, are gifts-indeed. That's what makes those days that we have to do ritual tasks and work- wonderful days, because they are part of the process. Your life started at Point A the journey to Point B is always a colorful one. Excitement, contentment, fulfillment, beauty; all is subjective.

So anyways, yeah, this seems more like an end of the year post, but for me, it marks a new beginning. I know I tend to be cryptic, but I like to call it private. Plus, I hope that my vague references can be applied to you too. Because our lives have central themes. Right? I am excited for September. I am excited for all the newness I am about to embrace. I am eager to explore my destiny even further. Yeah, I am doing the homework, [homework in reference to the student of life metaphor], keeping the faith, and sharing the best of me. The H and I are working hard, and can't wait to share with you all. September, You rock.

xoxo

Farida

Twitter:        @adiraf
Tumblr:         DIGITAL BIN

personal blog:  Constantly Seeking Inspiration

A Mermaid's Evolution Part 1: Eight Psychological Types

One of the first books I bought when I got into Psychoanalysis was, "Introducing Jung" by Maggie Hyde and Michael McGuiness. I highly recommend this book if you never heard of Carl Gustav Jung, and want to learn about archetypes and myths. I was lucky enough to work with a Jungian Psychoanalysis back in 2003. At that time in my life I was interested in making sense of my writing styles and other areas of my life. Needless to say, it opened many chapters in my life and opened my mind to a whole other world of creative exploration and meditation. It was also when I realized that my archetype was the "Mermaid". I am sure you have taken notice of my Mermaid fondness in my blog, "Take a Dive, Make a Splash". (You have if you have been following Farida blog since 2001 ). Seven years later, I am out growing the "Mermaid" archetype in my writing.

I am not sure if I will keep the title of my blog, considering I want to whole-heartedly focus on my new calling and central theme in life. Which, I am still exploring; this time without the guidance of a Mentor, but through my own writings and meditation. I am eager and excited about the uncertainty of the new muse/theme/archetype I will channel into my work. Only time will tell. You do have to keep an open mind however, when approaching this subject. It is easier to understand and hard to explain, if you don't already get it.

I am sure I will journal more about this process in the near future. One observation I have made in my life recently is, that how in some areas I have become so much stronger, and other areas where I was titanium, have softened up a bit. I am sure these lessons are in preparation for something greater. I can feel it in my bones, in my cells, and in my mind.  I don't share as much as I used to. Do not get me wrong, I still share my blessings, good thoughts, and wishes. It's those candid thoughts, the almost private thoughts, that I used to freely share, I sometimes miss. I am definitely more guarded in more areas of my life. The experiences in the last few years of my life have proved themselves to me.

Writing is such an outlet. More than a passion sometimes, but an expression. Whether or not, I have readers or not, the idea of putting it out there is freeing. Although I cannot lie, it is always nice to know I have readers. It makes it all the better. I like to think all the "matter" I cannot share concretely, I spread through out my writings and characters like layers.

Writers, at all levels are creating something from themselves. It is  selfish, it's maternal/paternal, it's proof, and it's a living testament of their life. Good or bad, a writer's mark is made with every punctuation and paragraph.
Words don't die. They live. Maybe discreetly, under folders, in flash drives, in leather bound notebooks, scratch pads and even post its. They live on forever.

More on this matter later in part 2. In the meantime, I scanned a few pages from the book. The book is filled with entertaining illustrations of the different psychological types. Take a look and enjoy. Oh, one more thing, you can click to enlarge the image.

With Love,
Farida Ansari Rafique

 

 

5 minute journal: Click. Click. Click.

*a quick journal post, on the fly.*

-Farida

Click. Click. Click. Switch- static-Click.

 

“Sponge”, me? Yes, that is so. That is what they call, Information overload?

Please make room for some more data. The universe is expanding and you are growing. Filling up space, it’s not hard, just different. Pardon the simple words. They are from the heart; they say what I feel, and nothing more.

 

Rhythm is present in everything.

Flow is beautiful.

Share some more? No mystery here, just rather be unclear.

Energy never dies. It is the law before it was a title of an album.

I maybe late to the party, but according to my watch I am on time.

 

Crossed off would be items. Met my episodic for the first time. Loving it deeply. Can’t wait to share it with the world. It is created. This is where I start speaking in abstract.
Not much fun to figure out. There is nothing to figure out, if there is no inclination to.

 

The past is certainly not part of the present. No need to delete. It is all saved in my leather bound notebook. All etched in my head. What I didn’t say has been typed out, and the lines to be delivered.

 

For the lovely souls I met along the way. Couldn’t say it enough.

What I have learned in my short time on terra firma, is what you give, give, give, you do receive, receive, receive. Not always from the ones you gave to, but in mysterious ways, ways of the Creator, ways of the Universe.

You do, sometime receive a lesson or two, but those too, are priceless; gifts. I think you would agree too.

 

Be who you are, and nothing less. You are one of the kind. You can only be your own best. The higher the goals, the unthinkable the goals to some—all the sweeter it will taste when you get there. Be steady. Keep steady. Keep the faith. Soon, everything falls into place. Work is not work, when it’s passion. Every step is a step towards a fulfilled purpose. Each deadline, each roadblock, is a new growth. It is an opportunity to learn and be in charge of your own path.

 

No one ever got to his or her destination without doing some individual work. It’s so.

Life is what you believe it to be. “Crunchy granola, anyone”?

 

Flip flip. Scan. Scan. Scan.

Highlight. Underline.

Type. Type. Type.

Read, absorb, read, time alone. Study time. Make it so.

You are a sponge. This is information overload.

Expand your mind. Grow.

This is indeed Time.

No better time, no past time, any future time.

Represent yourself. 

The time is now.

I appreciate it. All of it.

Really wanted to say this today. I know I feel this way more than I say it. So if you stumble upon this post, please don't glaze over it. I mean it. Thank You.

Why? Everything that has happened up till now has been a part of my process. I wouldn't change anything ever. All the highs, all the lows, and all the in-between times are blessings. One million and one blessings. I wouldn't change one hurt, one single challenge ever, because it prompted growth.

Am I being mushy? Do I care? Does it matter? Just wanted to thank every being in my life up till now. The biggest being, the Creator, and all the Love I have ever experienced.

I am truly grateful. So Thank You. Did I close a deal? Did I create life? Did I make a profit of 15 million? Did I see miracles? Every day is a miracle. Every day is a day that speaks volumes. A day that has added to my dialogue, to my characters, to my message and to my being. Too abstract to understand? Do you read on the surface? Do you read in between the lines? Do you pick apart paragraphs? Do you deconstruct thoughts? Do you peel away layers? Think.

Gratitude. Plain and simple. I chose to express it more externally today. Why you may ask? Why not? They say a smile is contagious. I'm coining gratitude contagious. Let it spread like a field of flowers. Let it grow in our hearts. Remember, (oh, and I remind myself this too when I need it) it can always be worse. Focus on what's right, what's in control, what is working for you. Work on what's not and keep your eye on the prize, your mind on your goal and your heart open to gratitude. You will never be at loss when you share and you know you are being taken care of. Share, trust the process. Share your good thoughts, your sympathy, your help, your ears, your smile, your knowledge, your job leads, your intent, your miracles, your wealth, your spirit, share.

Abundance recycles in so many ways. Ways that work in unexpected ways. Miracles happen over night. Solutions appear in your heart. Will stronger than ever. Believe. Your life is your process. Don't concern yourself with the popular vote, the safe way, if you have that passion, the desire, it will all fall into place. Risks involve faith. Win big, risk big. If you don't get the outcome you expected, it's what is best at the given moment, that will in turn lead you to other better paths. But it won't make sense now. Trust it. Trust the process. Share. Say Thank You. Smile. Keep Charging ahead. Don't despise small beginnings. Keep the faith. Keep charging ahead. Share. Say Thank You. Smile.

It's about time I share my feelings about my own theories more publicly. How life works (well, I'm student for life, so that's a work in progress ;) )How it synchronizes meaningful coincidences in your favor; when you least expect it. Those are times that you just sit back in awe, and say, "THANK YOU".

Wanted to throw this out there. A thought that I usually don't share, but hope in time you will see what I am trying to do not only for myself; but for others who are out there living the process, keeping the faith, and charging ahead. Good Luck to each and every one of you. Wish you much success. Remember when you do get there to share, say Thank You, smile and Keep charging ahead.

With love,

Farida Ansari Rafique

Quick Reminder

Note to "Future" Self

"You Do Not Hold Words in Ration"

I'm going to jump right in with my thoughts tonight. Here's a recent essay I wrote about growing up in your Thirties.

"You Do Not Hold Words in Ration"
by
Farida Rafique

Sometimes you find that what you learn in a short amount of time is more valuable, hefty, and revealing than all your life's lessons. It's a crash course into epiphany 101. Sometimes, you have so much of that to share with unknown friends and people that seem to know you, but there really is no platform or occasion to paste it out. Some of it, if not most of it, important for your own personal growth. You learn that how much your value is worth in actions and in words. You realize not all the time, every action receives an equal reaction. Sometimes you just find yourself in times of amazement at what you thought you knew and what you know now. Other times, you wonder how even in your thirties you can be somewhat of an innocent naive child; and struggle to accept certain defining truths. Cliche perhaps; but a blessing in disguise.

Time is never-ending, yet slipping through our fingers every millisecond. Here we are face to face with our deeds, our beliefs, our dreams, and our realities. Which direction do we go in? How much of our past history defines our present? How easy do you make it look? How high are your path to the top? How self-reliant are you? How much do you forgive? How much do you forget? How predictable are you? How mysterious are you? Who are You? Can you fit into a cush label? Do you seek to find your place in your brackets []? Does it matter? Has it always? Every body has a story. A story so complex, so layered, so different than yours, mine, the guy sitting next you, the lady eating across from you, and the person that just walked past you.

We say what we want to say, but not how you wish for us to. That is why we choose to speak in abstracts.* A code, a puzzle, a message, a thought form-still forming. When your head hits the pillow at night you know that it is your time that you are responsible for. You decide which direction to go in. How big is your heart? How open is your mind? How much do you believe in the power of intent? How much do you share in others' joy? How much do you console in others' sorrow? How often do you ask, "How can I help"? How often do you say, "Thank You." How often do you congratulate?

You do not walk away from everyday miracles. You open your eyes to the sun. You take refuge in air-conditioning. You sip from a filtered water pitcher. You do not give up on the heart's wishes. You do not walk away from a lost cause. You believe everything in this world responds to love and words of love. From trees, to television, to friends, to your Love, and even your Pet. Everything does indeed respond to Love.

You do not hold words in ration. They convey your thoughts. If there is anything left unsaid, it is not because there was not any time left. It is because there is nothing more to be said. Not such a bad thing necessarily. Silence speaks volumes.

Age is a label. Time is a measure. You have so much to learn. I read somewhere, "If you are not growing; then you are dying.". I will let You answer that.

-Farida Rafique

*We, the Collective We, as in Writers

Are You Listening?

The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention.  A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.
[Rachel Naomi Remen]

Being Present in Other's Happiness & other thoughts

No title for this post yet. Maybe by the end of this on the fly blog post, something will be revealed to me. Let's do a list, shall we? A list gives me the much needed structure for scattered thoughts. Awesomeness. If this makes absolute no sense at all, then consider it an exercise in my daily writing. :)

xoxo
Farida

1. Actions Speak Louder than Words. But inaction speaks volumes.

2. At what point do you think it's okay to assume less of people? Do you know everything? DO you think that person reveals everything to you?

3. Labels are confining. I like umbrellas. I fit under the "Creative" or "Concepts" umbrella. Therefore, I take on projects of every kind. I love to develop. After years of exploring my interests, skills, and goals, I realized I like to create. [if this sounds meme, then be it. the new readers get to  know a little bit more of me.] I think everyone has their own parasol. People are layered you know. They are faceted.

4. Everything is possible. Everything. By the grace of God, your own hard work paired with your intent and desire of attaining that goal or dream.

5. If people want to share, they will share. Take a cue. Not too difficult to respect boundaries and privacy.

Flashback: "Miracles"

Time to time I like to revisit some of my favorite posts. A year ago today, I posted an entry titled, "Miracles and More things I think about". I wonder if my voice has changed any in a year. Or if I have stayed the same. It's rather funny, when I do read my old writing, it sounds like someone new. The older the writing the newer I become. That's a riddle to be cracked. I tell you something new, I have started to write in a more relaxed state.
From the post on October 11, 2007:

In order for something new to be built, sometimes the old structure has to be brought down. When a tree burns to ashes, in time, new roots form in a familial place. Same is with people and their life changing phases and epiphanies. We grow each time something of value is taken from us. We surprise ourselves in moments of adversity and trials. We one day find out we are not the same person we thought we were. It comes as a shock to us. Although, all the signs are present. We drift into new friendships, new partnerships, and new attitudes. We are surprisingly hungry for knowledge. Unintentionally we seek out new information and take in revelatory messages. That all synchs up to the day we realize we are not the same person we thought we once were. So what happens? Same capsule form but a different sense of being. Old contacts may still innocently see you as you once were. Until they too choose to grow into a new roots. That is when they realize their self growth and come to appreciate yours. Not an across the board theory, but definitely something worth theorizing. *Farida Rafique

Farida on Sisters, Parents, 8 ball, Misplaced Journals & Bread

It is time to post something. I have fallen into the habit of consistent blogging for once. Now, my mind dribble has a place to collect. Thank you Blog.

I have one word for Hawaii; Amazing. Wonderful trip. I was really looking forward to sharing the pictures and thoughts from the Big Island tonight. So much to share!  Unfortunately, I fell ill to a unsightly reaction to some chemical and have been dealing with the itching and redness on my sun exposed limbs. Not good. Also, came back to fall into the busy routines. Hope to recover and share soon this week. Hope to catch up with some dear souls too.

August has been a good month for Farida. I feel very blessed. I have never been known to have a million and one best friends. The old Farida knew a whole lot of people, but only fed the close connections of a handful of good-hearted well-wishers, kind, and intelligent People. The fact still remains true. I still have the same crew with a few new people I have befriended after I got married. I am not selective or snobby.  I just believed quality over quantity mattered. Real authentic people I can learn from, inspire, grow with and share happiness with. At the same time, I am all about networking and linking people. Shared goals, usually translate into shared values most of the time. Which then evolve into friendships.

I also, for once in my life fully appreciate the blessings of having a sister. A sister, that is not only linked to me by DNA, but is my unfailing, reliable best friend. I wish everyone a sister or relationship like the one I have with my little Sister. She is a kindred soul with a very realistic and spiritual outlook on life. She is 3 and 1/2 years younger than me. We are different in our tastes, but we are same in our core values and beliefs. She is happy for me unconditionally, and I am always protective of her. Sometimes, I dish out the hard truths, and she listens begrudgingly. Then when I need to hear the tough details and truths, she delivers without hesitation, because she knows its for the greater good, and for my well-being. I am not too proud to refuse good advice from someone younger than me. I always welcome good advice and sound wisdom from young or old. When I was younger, I never understood why my Mother and my Aunt were so connected. Now at the cusp of 31, I get it.

Siblings are like surrogate parents. Our parents bring us into this world, and once they leave (later, much later), we are responsible for one another. We have our parents in common, we have blood in common and we have our traditions in common. I get that now. I get that my Mother sees her parents in her siblings, and vice versa. It's a legacy. A bond, that cannot be bought or found.  With that being said, just like parents and children, there will be times of challenge and unpleasant misunderstandings. Because after all, we are human and we are our own people. At the end of the day, with any relationship, you have to get past those challenges and remind yourself of that cherished bond. Forgive the small mishaps and be generous with love and affection. I wish my parents live forever. But the truth is every one has a "X" number of years on this planet. So why not take the remaining years and spend them with good loving memories?

Sometimes, we have to remind ourselves, it's not always about "Us".

Layered

People, even blogging people have layers. i  was 30 seconds away from emo blogging tonight. instead, i decided to put a hold on my cathartic blog line. yes, i use blog waiting sometimes, I even send my blogs to voice mail.

I decided something else today. along with 30 years of lessons and realizations, I decided I need to share with my random readers and sporadic waves of new found followers.  share my emo---shuns.  why? well, because I am a layered person. complex and sometimes, multifaceted. I am not a "Stepford" wife that is "ON" all the time, that flashes my chicklet smile. No, I have opinions. I have moods. I have reasons. I too have my share of challenges. Notice, I used the word challenge. Only because problem is a word I decided not to use. A challenge I can meet and overcome. A problem is a nuisance.

Moving forward, I also decided to take my feed of off my facebook. Why? Well, it's a funny thing about human nature. The minute you start sharing your feelings or opinions and have something real to say, people [some people] have a tendency to internalize each message. Doesn't mean much to me, since I put out stuff about my life with great care. I don't finger point or name call. I don't share identities. I do share real experiences. So, to diminish any chance of venting backlash, I decided to retract. Of course, I am here. The blog is here.

A quick mention about my blog. Have to spit it out before I forget. Someone asked me what my blog is about. It would have been very mememe of me to say Me? Really, its what I like and what I like to see in the world. Mindful living, peace, love, harmony is what I would like to see. Cliche, maybe, but the truth. What I like; that's simple, everything else. Why do I do this? It keeps my creativity going. It fuels my goals. It gives me a soapbox when I can't find a podium.

I could tell you what brought on this post. but that would be too easy. too simple. I like to think you all are very complex, layered, multifaceted, interesting people. Maybe you can read between the lines, maybe you can hear a message. Maybe you can glaze over this, or maybe you can relate.

I think some of us are so used to this commercialized self-market world, that we become these happy go chirpy go high on life types with glossy eyes and permanent smiles without frown lines-people, that we close off our real selves. We send out this message of perfection. Everyone is walking around with plastic smiles and a story. Few share, few relate. The ones that do reveal themselves, as what they are, have this energy about them. That energy attracts closer bonds with like energies. Whoa, now I am going meta on you all.

I guess, the short version of that would be is, our challenges and our humility make us human. You don't have to go out and share your dark secrets or inner most feelings with everyone you meet. Because, that would be [let's face it] stupid. But, revealing yourself authentically in layers, as time goes on, is an exercise in self-acceptance and confidence. When we don't pretend anymore. We are so comfortable in our skin, that we can admit our battles, learn from them, and walk on with grace.

I look forward to sharing my stories with you all. I look forward to hearing some of yours.
More to come...

With love,
Farida aka Mermaid

Peace is Patriotic. Happy 4th!

Happy Fourth Everyone! I hope you all are getting ready to celebrate your Independence and the  right to pursue happiness. Of course, it goes without saying, but I will remind you that being Pro-Peace is Patriotic.  Fireworks should be the only explosions that light the sky. Don't you agree?

With that being said I would like to add some snippets from a informational document put out by John Nichols for the CODEPINK Peace group. Thank You !  I would encourage you all to read this. It is short and informational. You can find, "Fourth of July Talking Points" by John Nichols HERE.

I took the liberty (no pun intended) to copy and illustrate Secretary of State, John Quincy Adams Speech to Congress on July 4, 1821. I transformed into a PDF that you can download to print. Check it out, it might surprise you. It surprised me. You can also click the image to enlarge to read it. Once again, this is from the "Fourth of July Talking Points" document.

Download JohnQuincy.pdf

A quick thought from yours truly. I hope you share my view. You are free to disagree.  I respect that. :)

A prayer for the heart that holds the pain and also for  the heart that has grown cold to its cries.

May the Oppressed, near and far, be free to their right to freedom and liberties. God Willing. May they be free to walk in their neighborhoods with their families. May they be free to sleep a restful nights sleep. May they live to see freedom in their lives.

May the ones blind to the humanity in shackled conditions, feel the seeds of compassion grow in their hearts. May they too, turn to Peace, and respect each life, at every turn they make, every step they take, and every cry they forsake.

Let us recognize the ones who keep us safe. The ones who give their lives. The Fallen, who just followed orders, however, perhaps to some, made in haste.

-Farida

Photo Credit: Taken 2004 in Houston, right off Allen Parkway, by moi. The best Houston Fireworks show ever. Click to enlarge.
 

Audio: Hear the Caged Bird Sing; While You Still Can.

A while back I turned a boring ho-hum Sunday into a soul nourishing day trip to the Dallas Zoo.  It was my Camera, My Companion and myself amongst the crowds of parents, grandparents, strollers and kiddies. It was a good day. Visiting the Zoo has always been a trip filled with mixed feelings. The beautiful animals bring Joy to the inner child in me. The caged cats and endangered animals with sad and lonely dispositions- break my heart. These are God's Beautiful creations too. Unable to speak in a language we can understand. They too, coexist in this world with us. They too, have families, Mom, Dads, babies, and even friends. Oh, I am really a sap and a softy. Can't help it, even if I tried to.

The Birds, they are the most fun. With their saturated plumage, striking eyes, and delightful calls. These Birds are more than our plentiful Happy-Go-Lucky Backyard Birds. These Birds have stories to sing. Some are "Critically Endangered". The Bali Myna or the Bali Starling is one such Critically Endangered Bird. What can you do? Preserve and respect the existing Wildlife. Educate your kids, nieces, nephews, etc. about the endangered species and finally make a decision to support Conservation efforts. Look into your local Sierra Club or Audubon Society for more tips. The Bali Starling is  A Gorgeous Bird with an even more gorgeous chirp.

I don't know if  the Cage is a Prison or a Sanctuary. What I do know is the Bali Starling sings. It has a Song.  Hear the Caged Bird Sing; while you still can.

I happened to record a sound byte of the Bali Myna on my Ipod for my readers and my sound library. The sound is a little noisy since it was recorded in a indoor sanctuary. I removed some of the hiss and clicks-so, you might want to turn it up. Take a listen HERE. The Bird has the cutest tweet. Seriously, I have said this before, but I am really in awe of all God's creations. 

I still feel somewhat lucky to have seen the Bali Starling and her friends. I hope I have done some of my part to document this beautiful Bird and her equally gorgeous caged friends.

-Farida

My Photo sets can be found HERE, HERE and HERE.

(click to enlarge the mosaic)

Everlast is back! His controversial song, "Letters Home from the Garden of Stone"

American-Muslim artist Everlast is back from the basement with a poignant, controversial, and powerful song; "Letters Home from the Garden of Stone"  from his forthcoming album, "Love, War, and the Ghost of Whitey Ford".

Everlast is one of those artists that always finds a way to relay a meaningful message through his music. He is taking a huge step towards a kind of artistic-political dissent with this song.(in my opinion) Since the song is so new, it's hard to find the accurate lyrics online, one must listen to it-to really reach the meaning. It's a song I think our ipod generation will remember 30 years from now. These are indeed interesting times; socialmedia, music, movies, books- are all reflective of our need to voice our opinions about the War we are engaged in. Whatever side of the issue you stand, there is no denying the real cost of war; Human lives, fallen heroes, displaced families, etc. :(

 

All I can say is, Peace is making a Popular Comeback. Now more than ever.

Visit his official myspace page and read some of the comments from his fans and some of the soldiers back from their tours of service.

I absolutely love Everlast, and really hope to see him perform live. I can't wait to download the whole album on itunes soon.  You can download the single on itunes or listen to it on his myspace page.

Caution: the video is Graphic in nature. NOT for the weak of heart.
Click HERE to see his video.

Here is a  blog post about Everlast new Music:
*Multi-Platinum Grammy Winner Everlast's new single about Iraq War Grabs National Airplay

photo credit

Life of Poverty necessary?

I am going to think out loud on this one. Let's see...

"Our life of poverty is as necessary as the work itself. Only in heaven will we see how much we owe to the poor for helping us to love God better because of them"

. - Mother Teresa

I absolutely adore Mother Theresa's work and devotion to the Poor. She was undoubtedly one of the most full hearted self-less Humanitarians we have seen in our lifetime. I just don't know why, but the above quote just stirs up some mixed feelings. It's kind of like the age old questions; "Why is there so much suffering among the innocent?" or "Why do bad things happen to good people?". I kind of understand the concept of living through tough times in order to appreciate the good times. You have to have a scale to measure with. I also understand that when you help the less fortunate than you, you in turn became more grateful for the blessings you have. I have always believed that abundance, education, parents, children, health and even life partners; are gifts from God. I believe this only because, I have seen so many children born into poverty and good decent people go through horrific tragedies. Human beings in general deserve good things and good lives. Some would argue, not all deserve it. That's not my call to make. What I do know is if you are placed in a better position by fate then count your blessings. We can all agree on that. That is why I think this quote irks me a little. "Only in heaven will we see how much we owe to the poor..", hmm, we owe the poor? That almost sounds like being Poor is predestined fate, and that Poor people are in turn catalysts to help us reach heaven. Why am I bothered by this? Maybe I know, but cannot articulate it. Let's try anyways. I think our actions and deeds win us a place in Heaven. God Willing. Do we heed the call of the suffering or do we walk away and living in our isolated worlds? I also believe at some level we have an active hand in our destinies. I think we make choices with what to do with the cards we are dealt with. I guess I just don't want to believe that some people are born into poverty or placed in impoverished situations just so we can be tested and perhaps reach heaven. I don't know.

Anyways, felt like thinking out loud on that one. Here is an article I found on CNN about new kind of poverty hitting America post Housing Crisis. Makes you wonder what direction this country is going in and at what speed. Click the headline to read. "Mom forced to live in Car with Dogs."

Diary: 05-20-08

1.Ignorance is bliss: I was shocked to find out the buttery spread, "I can't believe it’s not butter" has gelatin in it. Along with select Frito Lay chips [Doritos, Cheetos] and some discount coated vitamins; are no longer vegan, kosher or halal friendly. Why must there be pork and animal fat in everything? Always read labels and ingredients list. In fact now days, whether or not you eat Halal or kosher, it’s always beneficial to educate yourself on what you are consuming. High fructose corn syrup, sugar, high amounts of sodium and unbelievable amounts of fat, are on my alert list. For me, it’s mostly about weight loss, but more than that it’s about eating pure foods that are preservative free. Ever since I started eating clean my migraines became less frequent. I have said good-bye to all canned foods and prepared sauces. I am happy to admit I have been fast food free for almost 4 years. I have also started cooking flavorful but less layered South Asian dinners. Just streamlined it a bit. I use lesser amounts of spices and oils. I eat more grilled fish, chicken breast and vegetables. I limit red meat to a few times a week-if at all. In fact for a short while [8 weeks] I was vegetarian. Even though, results are based on calorie, protein and carb intake; I feel lighter spiritually. My only addiction left to conquer unfortunately is carbonated light energy drinks. I really need to curb that.

2. Save the Drama for the Mama: At some point people need to start securing their drama in their own confines. Why not harbor a more mature outlook and tackle problems on your own? Why do people feel the need to share their dirty laundry in a community kitchen? What good can come of this? One minute you are low and chatting up a negative smear campaign, and 30 seconds later all is peachy. What do you think people remember? I just don't think it helps a person's integrity to talk smack one second and turn around and demand respect a second later. People won't tell you if you are out of line or that you share too much negative personal information-but they will remember. One shouldn't care what others think, but one must be consistent and stand behind their words. This of course is my opinion. I believe if something is troublesome, you are going to go to trusted peoples in your life for support. It should be limited to that select list of confidantes. Because, news spreads like fire, and if it’s the malicious kind, when in the wrong hands, spreads like a wildfire.

3. Tips are appreciated: I am very much a relationship client, it takes a couple of visits for me to feel secure with my aesthetician, hair stylist or nail tech. I guess years of working in the Spa business, I know what to look for in a good service. I also know what kind of wages Spa Professionals make. I understand the importance of 18 percent gratuity and what it means to the Employee at the end of the day after taxes. Gratuity is important when you are getting an intimate service done, i.e. waxing or nails. It's just nice. Last week I got the usual Pedicure, but the Lovely Lady I am accustomed to going to wasn't available. I didn't fret. What did happen was I sat through 60 minutes of a blah service. No relaxation, no detail at all. The Nail Tech was very sweet, which only made it worse. She was quite the chatterbox. I listened behind my novel. I looked and smiled. Right before the polishing of the toes, I look forward to a 10-minute massage. It's truly is the best part of the service. The massage was horrendous. I mean either my legs were numb or she wasn't applying any pressure at all. I sat there smiling, while she was slathering oil, and the whole time she was telling me about her kids. I felt bad asking her to massage deeper, but she clearly was in her own world. Many times her cell phone went off and she answered it. I figured, well, this is her income source; I am going to be gracious and let her finish. At the end of the pedicure, she asked me if I had any cash for her tip. Right out front. Of course I was going to tip her, but I didn't feel the need to let her know how much. I should have demanded a free service, since I paid for the whole visit. In fact when I managed a Spa, if this was a particular scenario, we would give a complimentary service. Oh well. I am nice, so I tipped-and now I just posted a rant!

4. Juicy: You know what I find extremely gratifying these days? Fresh extracted juice from my new juicer. By far it pales in comparison to my old citrus juicer. Now I can toss in a carrot, apple and pulp it till I have a glass of fresh juice. Honestly, when I am stressed out, I love juicing fruits and vegetables. I think it’s the sound of the grinder. Hehehehe. Kidding. Anyways, it’s safe to say I make use of every veggie and fruit in my fridge. You can do a google search for juice recipes. My favorite right now is Carrot Orange Apple Juice. 2 carrots, 1 Fuji or honey crisp apple, 1 Valencia orange and for a kick, a sliver of fresh ginger root. Served over ice it's extremely invigorating.

5. "Gone Fishing”: I am happy to announce I am not suffering from Writers' or any other kind of Creative Block. But I am opting to keep things under wraps for a while. I have placed my camera, my xh-a1 and my pen & paper, in the coziest place in my study. I actually am kind of resistant to document everything I do or think these days. I am also; kind of slow to respond on various social networks too. I am sure I can get into psychoanalytical mode and sort this out, but I rather not. I will save my thoughts on social networks for a future post. I rather explore and live without the need to document for a change. It’s so much more refreshing.

6. A Flattering Moment: I met with a bunch of young liberals last month at a meet-up. A few of the guys and gals were making introductions about the new people. The entire group was under 25. Imagine my horror. I am 120 days from being the big 31. The cat got out of the bag and it was revealed that I was a thirty-year-old hippie. To that someone said, "Wow, you look so young for your age." WOO HOO. It must be the diesel sneaks and the frames that give off the ever-timeless nerd vibe. I asked, "Really? How old did you think I was?" She said, "23". Cool.

7. Bundles of Joy: My best friend Sara and her Hubby are new parents to an adorable little boy Auzan. Mashallah! I cannot tell you how happy I am for them. My friend and I met in college, and she is more than a friend, she is totally like my Sister. I unfortunately, have not met her after the birth, but it is on my right away list. Congrats Sara!! May Allah always bless your family with tons of goodness and abundance. : D I will look to her for candid advice and words of wisdom when it’s my time. She gives some great no hold barred advice. Love ya'!

8. Light Up: Lately I have been seeing so many flickers of lights in my backyard. Fireflies [or glow bugs or light bugs] are in my opinion one of those cool sci-fi-esque God's creations I just adore. It is a pure delight to see my cat Goldie out in the back yard trying to chase the fireflies at night. Much better than the dead possum my cat found in the back alley. That was incredibly mortifying. I have a history of bad experiences with rodents and creepy crawly night critters.

9. What’s my Motivation: For a while I have been indulging in the idea of taking acting lessons. After reading, "How to Direct Actors for Film/TV", I decided in order to be a better Director I need to really be able to process characters like an Actor. It would be just a little bit easier to find that motivation actors are looking for when they are being directed. I was throwing this idea around for the past year, and it was only recently a friend of mine told me she thinks I should pursue it. Her positive encouragement really launched it. I guess I needed a little nudge. I have my moods and can find myself drawing out emotions when I read a good book or poetry. I figured the exhibitionist side of me has been dormant for a while, and I do need another creative outlet-a new experience. So, I am researching the right program or part time acting school. Who knows what this will bring? Whatever it does, I am sure it will be great for my creative process. I will make sure to tell you all when I am ready set go.

10. Passion for Fashion: Not lately. I was chatting with my girlfriends and it seems I am not the only one who thinks today's fashion trends are not very flattering or Muslim Women friendly. I mean, if you are modest Muslim Woman. Either the shirts are God-awful Tents with empire waist or then they are cleavage enhancing sleeveless neon explosions. I am so waiting for the current trend to change, because, I am not liking what I see for the most part. The good thing is if you have those classic pieces you can stay current with accessories. I am still buying handbags, shoes, beads and baubles. You can't stop me. I don't really cover my hair but I am very particular about wearing anything too revealing. It's a religion thing yes, but also, my personal style if defined would be minimalist chic. I like clothes that make a bold and edgy statement, that just give a snippet of my female vibe. Designers I love right now are Stella McCartney, Versace and Burberry. Why can't I find a decent long skirt for summer? All the dresses and skirts are only a few inches below the knee or mid-calve. If you're a Muslim Chic you feel me. I guess for now I will stick with pants. Darn Texas Summers.

Diary: 2-27-08

These are just scattered thoughts for today. I figured I would share a little personal tidbits, you know for a change. :) Thanks to all my blog readers. I have been working really hard to make this a blog you can learn from and add to. The niche is still a tad uncertain, as I cannot box myself into categories. But, a re-occurring theme is PEACE, Mindfulness, Arsty-Fartsy and Words. This blog is 2.5 years strong. So thank you! I hope you have been following my series on Nonviolence, "64 Ways to practice Nonviolence" in 64 days. I have been along with the theme for the day, been sharing my own answers and personal thoughts.
At a near point in the future, I am going to start a series on Inspirational and Creative Persons I know. You know, I am a firm believer in the web of humanity. We are all connected in more than one way. Not, like the Editor's song lyrics, "Blood runs in our veins, that's where all similarity ends." NO, we are connected with thoughts, same values, goals and plain simple-humanity. [although it's a killer song!]

1. I have been e-shopping like crazy. Something about receiving goodies in the mail; makes you feel special. I really want to take a break this weekend from the obvious weekend routine and lounge at a coffee shop, outdoors and just read. For hours. For real, all day even outdoors. Which brings me to my love for a hammock. I want one in my backyard. I bought some tasty new books. Can't wait to share my reading list in the upcoming blog entry. At the rate, my Husband and I read and collect books, we will need an addition to our home office. I also indulge Atif with books. He is fellow nerd like myself. He has this old school Oxford dictionary on his night stand. I love to surprise him with books that inspire even more creativity in his business. Just got this beautiful book on Mediterranean/Tuscan/Spanish architecture and design for him. It makes a great coffee table book. Which, is another thing I love. I love photo books and art books that tie in with your home decor. They are great conversation pieces and add to the personality of your home.

2. I love the color orange these days. I can't get enough of it. That color draws me in like nothing else. Whether its Blood Orange Italian Soda, California Clementine bowls, oversized mandarin pillow, or an orange and brown silk scarf. I just really love orange right now. I went through a phase of yellow for almost six months. You know that Goldenrod yellow. Wonder what that says about me right now? Oh expect an entry on color therapy. Because many of you know, I had an informal/alternative career in Wellness/Beauty for almost 5 years straight. Changed my life forever. All that metaphysics, meditation and Jungian philosophy I go on about, its sprung from managing a Yoga Studio and Day Spas. Good stuff. more later...

3. I am very private about my career, projects and plans. Call me superstitious; no wait, Call me Mrs. Superstitious. I have had so many good plans in the past fall through at the last second, after months of preparation. I have learned from the past. Of course, I totally believe if those plans did not follow through or fell through, then it was not destined in my life. For whatever reason, I am happy with the detours. I love uncertainty. Yes, I do. Back in my 20's, I hated not knowing. But at 30, heck I love surprise, I love unexpected miracles and good news. So, I am practicing hush hush, until you read about me or see me in another way. Till then, continue your unwavering good thoughts and support for my artistic ventures. For you know, how long my path has been, and how much love I have for what I stand for, and most importantly where I am heading. I appreciate it, and if I never typed it before, "THANK YOU"!

4. Well, since I just shared how private I am. Let me tell you something to contradict that! HEHEE. Prior to typing this blog entry. I just printed at least 100+pages of my old writings. I am going to assemble a package for friends. People who actually want to sit back and read. I have given away some many manuscripts in the past and believe it or not, NO ONE I actually gave it to, read it. It was the people who asked to read it, that read it. One of them is a collaboration. I have a good feeling about that. Which brings me to inspiration. I am riding that wave. Old is gold, but new material is the next best thing. Can't wait.

5. 08 is the year of collaboration. It is the year of aligning with other creative go-getters. People who want to continue to learn and better their craft. Peoples or parties that share their talents with one another for the collective betterment of an awesome idea. That's right. I feel good about it. If there is one thing I have learned is about venture seeking artists is, it is better to surround yourself with like energy. It only propels you in the right direction, and networking never hurts. There are scenes everywhere. Ultimately we are going to reach our goals. It is not a matter of "if", it is when. That begins NOW. God Willing.

6. Addictions. I have some addictions that I am alleviating myself from. Oh, please, think nice of me. :) Nothing too ridiculous. Chocolate? HEHE. We are at March's doorstep. The Resolutions are going strong. What can I say I am a creature of habit. So breaking old habits with establishing new routine is the way to go about it for me. It's not easy. But I have done it before--so I have faith. That's probably why, I have been tempted to spend more time in solitude and meditation. I am journaling personal stuff on my "The Girl and Sea" journal. You can find the link on the right column of my website. Remember that is password protected. So if you are a Woman up for discussion on some women's issues, let me know. I would love to hear your voice. Maybe we can inspire one another?

that's it for now .....
With love,
Farida

Happy Birthday Dr.King

Happy Birthday Dr. King
Your words and mission for peace and equality was a gift. THANK YOU.
Love and Peace,
Farida

Personal Favorites:

I am convinced that if we are to get on the right side of the world revolution, we as a nation must undergo a radical revolution of values. We must rapidly begin the shift from a "thing-oriented" society to a "person-oriented" society. When machines and computers, profit motives and property rights are considered more important than people, the giant triplets of racism, materialism, and militarism are incapable of being conquered. [Beyond Vietnam 1967]

Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction. So when Jesus says "Love your enemies," he is setting forth a profound and ultimately inescapable admonition. ... The chain reaction of evil — hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars — must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation.
"Where Do We Go From Here?" (1967)

Photo Credit: Robert Shetterly, Americans Who Tell the Truth
Website: My Hero

Farida on "The Future of Mankind"

"Affluence without Wisdom is self-destructive". Can you feel it? I have spent the day revisiting Tara Singh's morsels of wisdom on peace, life, politics and human relationships. Beautiful writing, beautiful book. Although, Singh does not share the same religious beliefs as I, his thoughts transcend into my life without hesitation. Singh concept of God is very different from mine. Yet, I find many parallels in our quest for quality of life and peace. It's not a religious text, its just a discourse on the way we take and contribute in this world. This is probably one book that literally lifted me out of any kiddish optimism I had about our dealings in the society and put me in realistic and hopeful path towards change on a grand scale. Did I turn into a pessimist that constantly bitches about the world and its ill?

No. What it did is, made me angry about all the injustices we see passively give up on. That anger rerouted turned into realistic change. Change starts with us. We may not feel we can control all the injustices, but if we take care of just one, and parent it into a positive. Then we have done the bare minimum. That is change. I believe that change will gain momentum in our lifetime and instill more positive changing moments around us, our families, and the people we speak for that have been silenced by war, corruption, disease, famine, loneliness and despair.

I believe it in my bones. I do.

With love and peace,
Farida

Here are some excerpts from the book: [yes i typed it all out. hard to find it online]

Personal activity brings about war, hate and fear. A still mind, at peace, is a benediction. It is a state in which we are not dependent on anything, not even learning.

The preoccupation of "learning" is a nuisance we must end. We have always been fascinated by it and self-convinced that we wanted to know and live by truth. But we used the preoccupation itself to actually evade what we are seeking. In this there is an inherent deception.

We are caught in the idea of becoming. The personal mind-which in reality is the brain with its physical senses-becomes any idea it formulates. But awareness is never contaminated. The awakened mind never deviates into abstract thought. It dissolves it.

my thoughts on Bhutto

I have never lived in Pakistan. I am not versed on any Pakistan Political party's policy, nor am I an expert. I have heard various critics and views of Benazir Bhutto's legacy. For me her death, it still a tragic and senseless death.
Stepping away from the political premise and standing on a human level. Assassination, murders, homicide and suicide bombers, are undoubtedly cowardly attempts of political statements.

What is achieved by killing numbers of innocent people? What message has been conveyed? Killing in the name of any Entity or politics is a gross misinterpretation of humanity and reasoning. Any thinking and feeling person with the love of the Creator would never take his own life and the lives of others to make a senseless point. It is sick. These kinds of act fire those negative stereotypes and false notions about Muslims. As a Muslim, I am sickened by any act of terror in the name of God.

Like I said, I am not a critic of foreign and domestic policy of Pakistan. I will tell you this much, the assassination of Bhutto is not going solve anything. Its only going to create more sad headlines and leave people of that country torn, furious, and fostering more dismay and lack of faith in a solid government.

I can say this much. She was an eloquent, educated and brave Woman to once again try to fulfill her purpose in Pakistan. I cannot say anything about her intentions for the country. But from a human level, she was Woman who did at one time give some hope to other Women, trying to break the barriers of gender lines in Pakistani government. Regardless of her poor choices and decisions. She still took risks. I have heard so much negative feelings about her role in Pakistan. But regardless, as a Woman I am sad. As a Human being I am sad. I feel Pakistan is in a fragile state. What does this mean now? When will these nameless and faceless murderers understand that taking any life is not going to solve anything.

Praying for Peace in Pakistan, and everywhere else that is burned and cut by barbaric acts. :(

hmph

Ello my Lovelies,
This is my attempt to speed you up to my latest happenings. :)
I am super busy the next few months. I mean, up to my neck in deadline, family, and significant social obligations. I really wish to God, I had more hours in the day to relax, unwind, and just kickback and do mindless stuff like shopping and dining out with friends. Unfortunately, I have too much on my tackle to do list before the end of this year.

I miss my creative time. The time when I could sit back at Agora, sip on dark roast and exhale my characters onto my notebook. I miss the times when all I was concerned with was my writing. Now, I am consumed with editing, sound, compressions, bitrate, frame rate, and other blah blah blah. Yes, its nice to get into that frame of mind, but you know, I am a purist at heart. The good ol pen and paper and nice cozy dive. I think I need stimulation. I need inspiration. I need newness. I need to meet new ideas, new perspectives, new conversations, new plans. I have a game plan for inspiration all set. I will share that with you all later.

For now, I have been reading unknown authors and pondering life's meaning. Well--not really, not all the time. I am impatient to get to the next phase of my career. I will be honest with you, I don't require any "thing" for me to be happy while I am trekking along. I am looking for knowledge of a whole other kind. I want to be inspired. I want to be awed. I want to be moved. I want to reflect. I want correlate. I want invoke change. I want you to be inspired by my words. Selfish? Nah.

You know for me solitude has always been inspirational. I used to call that "basement time" back in my old writing day. I would blissfully fall off the radar for a month or so. I wouldn't make any committments. I would never let my phone get to voicemail. I would virtually vanish too. I had time though. I took that time and kept it for myself. All I did was read, read, and read some more. [philosophy, religion, metaphysics, peace studies] Then I would write, write and write some more. I would pray, pray, and pray some more. I would actually meditate. Gosh I miss that part of myself! So need to get that back this month :) I would actually watch a movie and disect it scene by scene. I would find an old college film/video buddy or my friends in film/tv, and just talk shop. I mean talk shop. Like everything from camera angles, to how to put together a shoestring budget video, to crazy arthouse film ideas.

I miss talking shop. I have a plan though. I figured I owed my comment happy comment dropping readers a little note. I have fell into the lazy share an article blog format, for a while. I would like to think it still informs you and is beneficial. This is my attempts to keep it real. Once in a while, for old times sake.

I will follow this up in due time.
For now, I bid farewell to the blog world...for a short while...need to go and find it...my inspiration...
I need to hibernate.
or is that I need to take a dive...cause you know I am..well, you know I relate to that archetype?
One of these days, I will actually explain that whole gosh darn hippy Jungian thing to you all. Its easier to tell than write. I know excuses, excuses.

Love you all and all of you's
Mermaid aka Farida

Vogue in India and other thoughts

I would like to think people have grown past the outdated notion that beauty is assessed by skin tone. Unfortunately, for some beauty is still defined by that very thing. I do not agree with it or support it. Being a South Asian myself, I remember all too well, the sad importance paid on achieving fairness. I would like to think my generation is beyond skin color and is not abusing bleaching creams to find some kind of fortune or good luck. Dark is lovely. Fair is lovely. All the colors in between, equally lovely. Can you dig it?

I am sure there are plenty of people who feel the way I do. I am not generalizing and trying to stay away from any kind of stereotype. I know regardless of how I feel, sometimes the media and fashion advertising can foster such negative stereotypes and ideals.

Just recently Vogue launched its magazine in India. Wonderful thing for fashionistas abroad and here. What made me a little sad was the cover. Here you have two beautiful Indian Women, [thats seem okay right?] balancing the center Model who is not Indian. The model is equally beautiful. Why not All Indian models? It's the first issue especially geared for Indian women. Maybe the intentions weren't rooted in some marketing ideal. However, it does make me think. I guess we should look forward to future issues.

With that being in mind, I ran over to Youtube. I thought of the "Fair and lovely" bleaching cream. I remember how crazy those old commercial were. A girl, who was down on her luck, found her saviour in skin lightening. Her luck changed. Suddenly she was more successfull and happier.

Women have suffered long enough to what marketing campaigns have labeled beauty. We have ate the bread and butter they served us, and we are still fat. At 30, I know better not to buy into that. What scares me is some women in my age group still eat that bread and butter.

Not to go into another topic, but I am all for self improvement. I believe we should always be working towards our best, both mentally and physically. I do not think that we should be ashamed of what we are. We should not feel insecure about our given gifts of individual beauty. We are all unique and little bit different on purpose. No one is the same. We are all beautiful.

Find the "Fair and Lovely" commercial HERE.

No time to whine.

I put in some serious hours on the phone this week. I planned my week so I would have no time to absorb some of the silliness I have been feeling lately. I have kept myself busy. It has been refreshing. The wee blog has been deprived of my attention all week it seems. Mama needed a break to find herself again.

Why do we keep ourselves busy? What is so faintly about having time? Or does spare time bore you? Are you an interesting person? Do you have interests? Are you a workhorse? Are you someone who finds joy in staying busy and letting the whole world feel it? Do you run around town with your head cut off, screaming bloody profanities and winding down to a cup of mint tea? Are you the kind of person that hides behind a job or career to avoid the real classifications? What kind of person are you?

Are you a good person? No, really? The kind that acts from the heart and not some socio-political agenda? Or are you that seemingly good person? It pains you to be good sometimes, yet to save face you do. Probably because you give a damn about what others' think.

So what about God? What does God think? I guess these days people forget that. We are more concerned about others feelings or worse, we are indfferent to people  and more absorbed in our own conciousness. I guess its the classic symptom of living in diseased commerical country. Everyone for themselves.
Leave the worrying and caring for those bleeding heart Liberals.

We are all on a fast track to somewhere. Where is that something? What is this rat race all about? Is it about status? Levels? Income brackets? Social Cliques? Haves and Have Nots? Wants and Desires?
Why is there this stench of competition when no one ever signed up?

We can always listen to music. We can read best selling authors. We can be pious people with no clue of the outside world. We can choose to stay dumb and impressionable. We can be lazy and do nothing about the issues we so bitch about. We can choose to feel helpless. We can change the channel, delete an e-mail, and not return a phone call because we frankly don't care.

I admire honesty. Brutal honesty. the kind of honesty that says, " Frankly, I don't give a damn. I am too busy with my own shit to shed a tear or educate myself about  Darfur and Gaza."

At least you are honest. You lazy apathetic idiot.

Thanks for the time and the place

I wanted to drop a little note for my friends and readers. Thanks so much for the emails and comments you drop here. It's total encouragement and support for this Writer/Blogger. I really feel like my words and thoughts are appreciated. It takes a handful of energy to maintain a site like this and to remain consistent with content. I really seek out any oppurtunity to make connections with people. By offering my own opinions and ramblings and also providing others perspectives.

I also would encourage you if you have the time to bookmark it and spread the word. If you have friends that you think would enjoy my work. As you know I have a series of podcasts on itunes now. They are ready to download and upload. The format of those podcasts are more open mic and concentrated on short pieces. I will definitely post how to download them in the next few days. Here on the site itself there are many links to download the podcast and feed.

I have some new and exciting projects I am working on. I will withhold on the details for a little bit longer. Trust me, God has been good to me and for once in a long while, I feel I am riding the current that is leading me to my dream. I should stop using the word "dream", because it is more real than I like to admit. I guess there is a part of me that is still a little superstitious and afraid of negative energy and the constant naysayers from the past. Who would of thought I would be afraid of a little evil eye?

You know when you need to attain something that is just so real in your heart and mind, that you take all the necessary steps in life to get there. Sometimes you get sidetracked by life's ups and downs. Other times fate and your dream are just not properly alligned. Worry not, there is a good reason for that. There is indeed a time and place for everything. EVERYTHING. The most beautiful thing is when you are awake when that time is there. You forgive all the "crap" you had to go through to get there. It just doesn't matter.

That is why I love meeting successful people who have worked towards the fruition of their dream. There path fascinates me. It also deeply motivates me and reassures me, that I too, with the grace of God and my skills can attain that fruitition.

I also feel it's important to recognize the good in your life by paying it forward and thanking God. If you are someone who doesn't purchase the God concept, then all I can say is, pay it forward with good. When good things do happen to you [if you look close enough they are happening], pay that good with a kind act. Open that door for someone you know that needs a door opened. It can be something as small as lending an ear or sharing information that could be useful for that person or persons. I have adopted the theory that we are just recycling the good karma, and each wave gets bigger and better.

Artists are funny creatures. We go on for many years without seeking the bottom line. We do this, because money doesn't always mean satisfaction or validation. Don't get me wrong, money is a tool that makes it easier, but its not that pot of gold. We do what we do regardless because we believe strongly in our message. It's not the medium, but rather the message.

So Thank You for the words of support and encouragement :)

Farida

www.faridarafique.com

It was an alive journal

A little blast from the past for you "blueorb", "blueorbmermaid", "mermaid diaries" and "farida rafique DOT com" friends.

Long time ago I had a livejournal blog. This site really sprung from there. I have tried on numerous attempts to import all the entries I wrote over the course of 2 years, to this site. I have been extremely unsuccessful. I am hoping the Cool Techies here will lend me a hand in the next few days.

One thing I realized is how open I was with my feelings back then. I was more than political and peace stuff. The entries [90 percent are marked private now] really shared some deep feelings and ponderings. I think after I got married, I closed my self-examining side to the public. I still don't know if thats a good thing or a bad thing. Since, privacy is always more important when you are part of a duo. Right? Wrong? I guess with this entry you can sense I am slowly getting back into the old blog groove. I think my readership back then was attracted to the fact that I shared such human emotions, embarrassing moments, and hurt feelings.

I have changed, but not that much. Now I feel instead of venting about my unanswered questions or trials, I pause. I pause to learn and collect that information and somehow relay the message in this blog [www.faridarafique.com]. I want this not only to represent my feelings and thoughts, but also share solutions, insight, and pertinent information.

Am I still a feeling thinking type? Yes. Do I hold back at times? Hell, Yes. Do I aim to inspire you? Absolutely. Will you have to read between the lines to get the full meaning? Probably. I guess I am asking you all to think critically. Hold two complex thoughts at the same time and find the correlation. Yes, that is my geek tawk. I guess somethings never change.

Here is an excerpt from the old blog: May 11, 2005

"Wasting time is all you need
Walking down this hill tonight
I had a thought it was my own
Moon swept by the clouds and save the starlight
Or shall I be or shall I not be
I don't know I just don't
Feel like it tonight"

…. despite all the events of the last 8 months of my life, my friend reassured me I can take it. My friend revitalized me and told this Mermaid, it was going to be okay. For the first time in a long time, I chose to accept that notion. As we get older, and more experienced we can endure more too. We get stronger and wiser, and that knowledge is power..and its never wasted. Cliché. I know that time will heal my Aunt and her children, and all the other losses my loved ones and I have experienced..just need to be okay with Patience ..

“It’s not the situation.
It’s your reaction to the situation…”

I choose to follow my heart at all times, some may think its foolish, others may applaude my risks, in either case..i have found when my hearts at peace, i am at peace. I have always embraced change and follow's Allah's will, and I will continue too, whatever happens and doesnt happen..happens for a reason, and all we can do is learn from it, and better ourselves.

.. im going to go to bed, and try to learn from all the cards i have been dealt in the last year..i have a story to share, and plenty to write..it is my own.

Good Night luvies :D
Mermaid

"Miracles.." More things I think about #3

Metaphysics. I believe we are more than bodies and souls. We are souls that give off energy. From postive to negative. Dark to light. I feel because of our energy, we are able to judge people's vibes based on innate instinct. You know how you feel when you come across a dark and negative person? When someone is not keeping it real? When someone has a look of redemption in their eyes? A sincere smile? A really comforting hug? A supportive pat on the back? You just know when you're in good company and vice versa. Do you really tap into that when meeting new people? Is it really just energy? Or is it gestures and ways?

In order for something new to be built, sometimes the old structure has to be brought down. When a tree burns to ashes, in time, new roots form in a familial place. Same is with people and their life changing phases and epiphanies. We grow each time something of value is taken from us. We suprise ourselves in moments of adversity and trials. We one day find out we are not the same person we thought we were. It comes as a shock to us. Although, all the signs are present. We drift into new friendships, new partnerships, and new attitudes. We are surprisingly hungry for knowledge. Unintentionally we seek out new information and take in revelatory messages. That all synchs up to the day we realize we are not the same person we thought we once were. So what happens? Same capsule form but a different sense of being. Old contacts may still innocently see you as you once were. Until they too choose to grow into a new roots. That is when they realize their self growth and come to appreciate yours. Not an across the board theory, but definitely something worth theorizing.

You do get what you want, when you want, all the time. Right? Maybe not 100 percent of the time. Perhaps 80 percent? I think it's okay to own those times. The times when God has blessed you with what you asked for and what was written for you. I think it's okay to be a little bit more optimistic about outcomes rather than being close minded to miracles and answered prayers. I think to truly appreciate a miracle, one must acknowledge they exist. If you ask someone who has undergone a tremendous ordeal if they believe in miracles. The answer will not startle you. It is their faith in the outcome in God's will that kept them anchored through the ordeal. "What was so hard to endure, is sweet to recall"--in hindsight. Think about the last time you called upon a favor and it came through. Think about all those times you were blessed with avenues of abundance without even breaking a sweat or asking for it. Abundance is not merely monetary. It comes in forms of love, spirituality, faith, happiness, and health. Do impoverished people ask for what they get? Why do they smile, when they are given something?

A bowl of porridge to warm their parch and sore stomachs. It is hope. It is a miracle. Perhaps to you and I in the comforts of commercial conditioned home, it seems not much. That is an answered prayer. A call to help. A miracle.

These are just some of the things I think about.
What do you think about?

I am right handed for a while

I can't believe I am typing with one hand. Yesterday, i had a real freak accident and slit my left hand. Really tore into my left hand. Dermabond to the rescue. No dishes, no cooking, no writing :(

I am now out of commission for a week. Can't write or drive or lift--do anything. I have insight on how blessed I am to have both hands. Thank you God for blessing me with limbs. How do ppl with one hand live? I know now. The hubby is being great and has new fond appreciation of all the liitle things I do. Thanks Honey!

Seriously, a week to heal is going to set me back big time. I have video project to edit before the weekend. I can't do anything. Immobile. :( Yet, I am still blogging. You can never paralyze a writer!

I am bothered and bitchy no doubt. I am trying to see this as a sign or lesson. Perhaps I am supposed to have suffered a set back in order to relax and meditate? All the things I do with my hands, which include logging in many hours on the computer and work--seem challenging. I have to reconfigure this week and find things to do without "doing" anything.

This event, although painful, [loads of blood--yuck!] inspires me to write about pain on a whole other level. Snce I cannot type at my regular speed, I will post an audio blog in the next few days.

How silly we are that we cut and bleed once by accident; while ppl are in pain and suffering all over the world. Those poor Souls who live among wars, bombs, and bloodshed. May GOD bless them and ease their suffering.

Doctor says I will probably have a 3 mm scar, running down my hand. So a scar is manageable. On the other side of the world, the wounds heal slow, if at all. God bless those nameless and faceless Souls.

I am sure this experience will take me to whole other level of inspiration and gratefulness. I will share that in time.

More things I think about #2

Let my true voice ring through this entry. I think structure and formats can be too predicatable and uninteresting. After all, people are searching for connections in your words, your thoughts, your opinions, and even your variable thumbnails. I have repeated myself all too much on the "theme" or "niche" of my blog/website. By now, if you are subscribing, you know its a little bit of me and a lot of what I love and live for. Which to reiterrate, is Non-Violence, Humanity, 35mm motion, Video, photography, design, writing, and living.

I wonder if there are people in this world who are truly not introspective. I mean, do you think the leaders of the countries, sit back and reflect? What happens when guilt sits with you? Do you ignore it? Do you talk yourself into feeling better? What do the leaders feel?

Here's something else I think about. In order to make true connections with people in this world, one must be willing to share that they are human. I am not saying disclosing personal information to make a friend is the way to go. But being sincere and keeping it real. Have you known someone your whole life and not really know them?

Timing is everything. There is a time and a place for everything. Time is limited. That's why I think people should share their wishes, sentiments, and/or congratulatory greetings, when the moment is there. If you wait a while, the intent might be misunderstood. If the words we speak are rooted in intent, then why do we hesitate to say what we feel? Unless, what we feel at the time is not what we should be feeling, and we know it. Don't wait. If you are happy for someone, let them know. If you are offering your support-let them know.

Widening our circle of compassion. Its not cliche. The only deterrent to crime is love. Love for all humanity. That means, the old lady in the frozen section of the grocery store, your neighbor, your extended family, co-workers, etc. I think our arrogant and collective selfish attitudes is what keeps us isolated in secular groups and unwilling to make sincere connections.

I wonder if I will make more connections like that. You know the thinking-feeling types. I once told a friend to pay attention to what you say. Do you start a statement with, "I think"? or with, "I feel".

Those are just some things I think about.

The best damn birthday blog entry period. part 1

The day has started off in an interesting way. I realized the coffee beans I had for my morning sehri coffee were decaf. All yesterday I felt somewhat anxious. Perhaps I knew subconciously my coffee was going to be out of whack?  Last night before retiring to bed, I had this overwhelming feeling that I should blog about my birthday. I guess you bloggers know that feeling. Its like a natural reaction to certain events in a writer's life. Birthdays, politics, and Mark Cuban  being on "Dancing with the Stars". You can't just let it go.

I kid. This year will most likely be a repeat performance of last year's birthday. Except this year, heck, today, I am the big 3-0. I think its a tad early for me to reflect and be all introspective. As you can tell, I am not in the typical birthday spirit. Most probably because I am in the Big D, not H-town.

I am not in denial thats for sure. I have been saying I am 30 since I was 29. So twelve months of pretending has lead up to this? So anti-climatic. I had some grand ideas to celebrate my 30th bday earlier this year. THe last month or so I have been under the weather, and I just let the idea fizz out. Maybe I will go overboard on the 31st. Thats a year thats under stated and neglected.

So this is it? I am 30.  God has been good to me. Thanks Allah!  Life has been interesting. I am still constantly seeking inspiration. I still get bored easily. I have so much more gray hair. For the most part, I am happy with the person I have become. WHoa, this is getting introspective.

I will pick this entry up later today...
For now, thanks in advance to all amazingly kind friends and people in my life.

10 More things I think about...

1.  I am asking friends and loved ones to keep me in their positive thoughts and prayers. I have been under the weather lately.
2.  I believe in miracles, answered prayers, positive thinking, and creative visualization.
3.  I consider emoticons, punctuation, online. Hope you are well :)
4.  The truth will set you free. Always.
5.  I really detest the "N" word and all other obscenities. I find people who use the "N" word casually or any other way, ignorant.
6.  I believe, the minute you think, "it can't happen to you", it probably will. Never think that. We all are constantly being tested and challenged.

7.  I don't believe in timelines anymore. Hitting 30 or 40 doesn't mean that much to me. Life has its peaks and valleys, and everyone is using their own map to travel. I just don't care about limitations and deadlines pertaining to age.

8. It does make me sad a little to see some of our younger generation and our older generation {Muslims} casual attitudes towards sex, drugs and alchohol. I can say what I feel right? I'm not classifying anyone or passing judgement. I am responsible for myself. :)
9.  I have always wanted to be a parent to an adopted child. I really think adoption is great thing and wish more people with comfortable living would consider adoption. On the same note, I think motherhood is a beautiful thing too. Being able to create life and nurture it is another act of kindness, granted we raise our kids to do good in this world.  I guess, I want both at some point in my life.

and...

10.  Silence is an adequate reply at times. Not because you don't know what to say, but because you don't know how to say it

. Quiet the mind, and listen to your heart, when in prayer and/or meditation.

Don't Speak

I feel at times, not saying anything and just listening is grand. When people talk on and on, they usually are not listening to themselves. Its fun to just shut up and let the other person speak freely. Focus on what they are truly saying.

Most of our adult lives are infested with “isms” and “ics”. We overeat, we indulge, we overwork, and when we have a few moments in our busy day we spend them “yapping” away. Sometimes we fall in patterns of dialogue that consists of toxic thoughts, gossip and sharing too much.

Sometimes silence seems intimidating and eerie. It’s not because we love our vocal chords so much, when in fact; we don’t know what we open ourselves up to when we are silent. What does the silence bring forth? Do we turn to our inner selves to ask those questions we seek for answers on the outside? What are we afraid of more? Silence or what silence brings forth?

“Some people talk simply because they think sound is more manageable than silence.”

As I mature, I discover that my chatterbox is less active, when in company of fascinating minds. So at times, I am speechless. I cherish those moments.

Verdad?

It's great when good things happen to GOOD people. Alhumdolillah.
You deserve all the goodness you put out and more.

All you Good People--
smile, say thank you, and pay it forward...

that was my statement for the day.
Love you ALL.
Farida

On Sincerity: from the Mermaid

People from a time past, people of the present, people you shared with, you cried with and laughed with. At the end of the day it brings you to how much of your words are filled with genuine sincerity. Words misused, overused, not used, are like tiny spark that ignite or warm your heart.
Words carry weight.

May you always be with people you love, people who love and appreciate you, and always with people who will prompt you to grow, and may you always find more avenues to new dear souls.

Reconnect, renew, rehash or rejoice.
Remember Sincerity.

Sincerly,
All of the above.

Sweetness

  Lemon Custard Raspberry Cake. Divine! 
  Originally uploaded by Farida Rafique.

While the Hubby has been away overseas, I found myself spending the last month entertaining a good bunch of souls. I must say, I totally broke out of my nesting phase and decorated my pad with good friends, good eats and even better conversations.

I finally was able to have my new friends in Dallas over for ladies luncheon, alongside my friend and sister in law. To make things even more special my best bud came from Houston and we finally got some face time and just enjoyed each other's company. To put the icing on the cake so to speak, my Mother visited me for a whole week in Dallas. We did all the things she wanted to do, and I found myself enjoying her past time hobbies. I guess when you get married and move away you value the face time more than anything, doesn't matter what you do exactly; it's all about spending quality time
Then this past weekend my Brother and Sister came up to Dallas to celebrate Mother's Day. What a perfect month! Alhumdolillah.

I guess with 3 birthdays, 1 Graduation, and Mother's Day; I had very few moments to realize my Hubby's absence, although I miss him immensely. It was very hard to celebrate our anniversary when we were continents apart. The good news is, he's coming home tonight!

I guess the moral of this entry was to convey all the warmth and love I feel for the Good Souls in my life.

My wish for everyone: May You always be surrounded by the people you love and love you and appreciate the Goodness in people that are in your life.

Bloom

i revisited a realization today. I don't feel like an adult. I am responsible, I am dependable, I am trustworthy, but still, i don't feel like an adult. I am 4 months away from turning 30, but that has no effect on me. I have expectations from some friends and relatives, who keep on dwelling on the turning of 30 to be some miraculous event in life, a milestone. For me, I pretend. I don't feel like its a big deal. Turning older, dying grey hairs, slower metabolism, aside from the physical change, I don't feel a day over my perpetual state of 25. Honestly, i don't know what 25 felt like, or what its suppose to feel like for a first generation American Muslim Woman, but people always try to define an age by cultural standard and expectations.

Maybe its my ambition that keeps me feeling young. Young people generally are wide eyed and optimistic, always on the edge of being the next best thing, making the big move, or living life by leaps and bounds. My place in life right now encourages me to be cautious on poor calculated adrenaline seeking ventures, but it does grin from time to time. The way I see it is, because I never lived life by the predestined chronological timeline set by culture, i feel, its my time to explore. You know bloom. It thinks its safe to assume I walked a fine line between a traditional Pakstani upbringing and my innate need to draw my own lines in the sand. It was indeed a  fine line. I held onto values, that many who know my more rebellious side would never believe, at the same time, I did everything i could not to be a sheltered  naive  traditional  Girl. I challenged gender roles and career goals but really held onto my faith--my love of my faith.  I have to say even at time of generation gaps, i still had it easier than most Pakstani traditional "girls". I think it is because I actively worked to distinguish between religious practices and cultural standards.

Beautiful

"Beautiful"
by Farida Rafique

going under again, underwater. my husband left a few days ago on a month long trip across the sea, and i am missing him immensely. As a woman who is always searching for inspiration and securing writing time, now that i have it, i feel stuck. perhaps its the missing or the gloomy weather that is lurking over me tonight. I could have easily spent a month in houston, but i opted to stay in dallas. Maybe because i still smell Atif's cologne, and our home, even though he is not here, feels right. i am not sad, just missing my man. We celebrated our anniversary 2 weeks early--because of his trip. I could have gone, but I didn't. I have my reasons. Detachment is good for the soul sometimes. It's like stretching a rubber band and relasing it, to feel the snap hit the flesh, to know you feel something, something great. Something wonderful.

My husband, god bless him, is my best friend. He is more than a husband, he is a good person. the kind of person, that not only works hard to live out his dreams, but does everything in his power to help me meet mine. I know, every newlywed wife/wife/girlfriend feels strongly about her other half--so this not new information. i do feel though, writing about these feelings is good practice for me. For my readers perhaps its another look into the kind of person I am, on all levels. Right?

Mashallah the good heart that Atif is, is beyond my use of words. They are simply not enough words in my vocabulary to convey to you the kind of man he is. What he does for me, how he protects me, how he loves me, how he can empower and heal my past wounds, its remarkable. We never made any concrete plans on celebrating our one year anniversary, due to many circumstances. My father is overseas, Im in dallas, and my mother in law not feeling well. I figured we would celebrate it when we move into our new house this summer. I know how important it was for my husband to see his mother and i couldnt bring in celebration at a time like this.

God Bless, Kurt Vonnegut and Everyone Else

God Bless, Kurt Vonnegut, and Everyone Else

by Farida Rafique

Yet another great literary mind parts with us. The sardonic Kurt Vonnegut passed on today. What astonishes me is with all I read about death in iraq and numerous other tragic deaths--the death of a Writer [respectfully so] is shared on the internet newsreader in split seconds. Out pouring of emotions, recaps of verses and witty dialogue, everywhere. As I said, respectfully so. Every great mind is missed and appreciated once gone. Upon hearing of such a great Artists'/Thinker passing, we quickly dive into biographies to learn about their life and then share that with the masses. Nothing is wrong with, like I said Respectfully so. I don't wish to take away the sadness felt by the numerous Vonnegut fans, inclunding myself. I remember the fall of AP English, when hestistantly I read 'Slaughterhouse Five' and suprisingly found it to be an eye opening experience into reading for fun. Vonnegut was an artst that could carve humour out of darkness, he was a genius in his own right. I doubt anyone can dispute that.

What I guess I am so reluctantly able to blurt out is, Why is it that we [we being the masses] are able to look for the life story of a writer, an actor, a musician so eagerly; when we don't know our troops' and civilians lives overseas? The life span of a young soldier who honors his/her country by serving in a war and not being able to come back home in one piece, mentally scattered, physically hurt, back home for a short while to go back on the tour of duty, or then not even making it back to American soil. For what? For what are their life stories cut short. Why do "they" still remain nameless men and women, that we cannot assemble a short paragraph about or dedicate a blog title for? For what and why?

I personally don't know anyone serving in this senseless War. I personally don't, but I have met many wives and parents of military families, and their stories connect with me. Its about having an ability to think critically. To possess an open mind to hold two or more contrasting beliefs. The Soldier, He/She loves the country and is ready to defend its country and the also loathes unecessary War, yet always out of respect and duty follows the chain of command. In other words, they are doing their job, even if their soul at times cannot accept their mission. They in the end love their country. So then who makes or prompts the decisions? The democracy? We, the people? What do we do? Some just wave their war protests but don't get to befriend and help struggling military families, young men coming back at age 23 [example] as amputees or brain damaged.

What are miles between us?

  japanese tea set 
  Originally uploaded by Farida Rafique.

There was once a time I used to blog in real time. There was in fact many open-hearted ink-pouring emo blog entries  over at the old livejournal. 3 years of real time blogging and the dot com commercialism curse has affected my natural flow of emotions.

Instead of hovering over lengthy pyschological explanations of my typical blog MIA, i will shut up and get to the point. :)

I am one lucky bitch. Seriously. Been married almost a year [our anniversary is April 30th!] and living in the Big D, and I see more of my friends and family than I did when I was in H-town. Go figure.

March/April have kept this Mermaid entertaining. Serving up home cooked meals. Wrapping gifts. Snapping away on my Rebel. Taking part in 8 hour gab fests over coffee. Wishing loved ones a "Have a Good One" when crossing oceans, and welcoming new additions. It has indeed been good.

My sister-in law moved back to Lahore. My cousin and her husband celebrated his 30th bday in the Big D.  My brother in law from Manchester was in town for a week. My sister spent her spring break with moi in Dallas. My friend "Adventures in Anonymity"  crossed the ocean to Turkey. My best friend Ahdia got me in anniversary mode by gracing me with a Japanese Tea Set [an early anniversary gift], my friend Crystal brought little Angelina Jade into this world [absolutely gorgeaous!} and to top it all off, my best friend Sara will be visiting me at the end of this month too.

What are miles between cities? Its not so hard after all. If you care, you share, and you communicate. Fiber optics and phone lines  only help carry out your good intentions. Friendships aren't subject to location.

Anyhoo--thought i would share...it's been a while since I have formally update you all in detail.

x0x0
Farida and sometimes Fareeda..

Special Shout to Adventures in Anonymity: Have a great and safe time on your excursions. I hope you fullfill your travel goals and of course all other dreams and goals not publicly shared :) Take plenty of pictures Bro :)

what's it going to cost me?

if the cost of war was in dollars then : click

but the cost of war is in body count. casualties. that word is not a casual word. its a degrading term to human life. or then collateral damage, again, LIFE.

these are sources. today when you go and enjoy your freedom, today when you choose not to get involved, today when you choose to not vote,--not raise awareness, not speak up, today when you buy more things, today when you read celebrity gossip, today when you complain, or today you take America for granted...

please remember the real cost of war:

the good men and women who are serving this nation: moms away from their kids, husbands away from their wives..following the chain of command, leaving to defend,
but not knowing if they will return: CLICK here

the civilians: women, children, families torn apart, everything they knew destroyed, mental health, physical health, disease, fear--CONSTANT fear of leaving your home, of being invaded, being killed, and sadly, raped..FEAR...casualties today--then please click HERE.

not to sound like a broken record, but i will go on. please pray for peace, work towards peaceful resolutions, and be aware....and yes, my heart and prayers are for the countless uneccesary lives lost in this war, the children, women, the men, soldiers, the americans--

May God bless us with hearts, bring a peaceful resolution, bring the troops back, and in some way start a healing-in a part of the world that has been bruised and battered for all too long...

dissolved girl

social politics amaze me. everyone in some way or another is involved in social politics. the amazing part is that "we" campaign for ourselves, and only reveal our true selves to the inner circle, if at all.

ah yes--after a month hiatus from sweet old blog, i am back. worry not, for this week will be filled with new mind bites from yours truly, and i assure you they will not be empty promises. cross my heart.

i sometimes wonder how many of us spend our time understanding and measuring our faith. whatever faith that maybe-how much of our time do we spend in nurturing our spiritual apetites. i find myself in patterns of faith tug-o-war. Some days, months and years, I find myself in places searching and educating myself. I find myself on a prayer rug, in meditation, in journals, in Hadith [sayings of the Prophet], and Sufi philosophy. Other times, obvious dark times, perhaps even periods, I find myself sinking, confused, hopeless, and very much sensitive. Whatever happens in those times between, those split seconds before i transition seamlessly into prayer and introspect, almost always escape me. I then realize where i have been, learn and grown- on. that's right, grow on.

The word believe empowers me. Song lyrics wash out the potency of "believe". Why is it so hard for some to believe? Hold onto Faith? Trust in themselves?

Why do people put some much more faith in people, than God (if you do not believe in God, please subsitute your own faith here)? People dissapoint us, and then we lose faith in God. Not fair. Never lose faith in yourself or your God. I guess that's where it begins for some. For others, it's not God they lose faith in after people, often people they care about and love, they lose faith in themselves. Not fair. Why should you sell yourself short because of someone else's incapablitity to love, to appreciate, to give, to realize.

I don't think all examples fit into "romantic relationship" models. I think relationships are relationships across the board. Family, friend, and significant other.

Sometimes I think it would be just so much easier to let people have it. Other times, I wonder, if i bared my soul, would they understand? Are they capable of understanding? Are they capable of connecting? Are they afraid of looking less than perfect? Sometimes it would be nice to have a heart to heart with a disconnected relationship, other times, pride, family and social politics seem to weigh in more. Why must the burden of being the better person always fall onto your shoulder? Why not be apathetic? Why, because its not in us. We know better.

One thing is always for real. When you have truth on your side, you don't have to worry.
Ultimately, in the end, God always knows all under any veils.

prayer

here's a quick thought:

when someone says, "keep me in your prayers" or "pray for me". Do you really, actually say their name in prayer? Do you really pray? Do you recall and remember?

Or do you just wish them well. Keep them in your positive thoughts? Nod, grin and move on.

 

Do you think the person who request a prayer, was in need of a serious prayer?

just curious.

I think prayers mobilize change.

i know people who keep a list of friends or loved ones, and even people they have never met, who are in need of prayers [cancer patients, terminally ill]. They conduct prayer circles. I know some Christian groups that do that, and of course, every Muslim prays five times a day (they should). Also, when a Muslim makes a pilgrimage to Mecca, they often take with them list [mental or written] of people, prayers and requests.

I think its wonderful when people keep their word. Or when they mean what they say. :)

its pretty simple really. why must we complicate such things.

you are tricky

Do you ever get stuck in the now, with the hustle of the daily grind, that you seem to almost misplace your past? i have misplaced my past for the last 6 months of my life. I guess, i should correct myself, i had misplaced my past until tonight.

The world has continued its flow, but my world has been too engaged with the newness of my new status, that it seems surreal to revisit old mental movies from the years 2003 through 2005. I think everyone has that one year in there post college, post college drop-out period that just stands out from all the years before. Is it independence? Is it the emotional place you were in at that time? Is it the people that tugged and/or hugged? Was it the career ambitions? Was it about setting standards? Establishing your niche? Branding yourself or your would to be, soon to be new and improved self?

Whatever it was, for some reason, that year or few years just stood out from the rest. Enough to request an entry in a blog. Enough for you to stop and  assess all the happenings of the years that followed. Time is tricky. Time is your best friend when you are trekking towards the next best thing in your life [career, love, spiritual awakening], and time is your constant companion when you realize you are going nowhere. Time never leaves you. Time is tricky indeed, when you realize that 4 years later, you might, or might not be standing in the same place. Uncertainty has always played the supporting role in every life movie i know of. Uncertainty brings out Time's emotions and true essence.

Uncertainty is not so tricky. Uncertainty is blunt and there. Uncertainty keeps life on its toes. 
Maybe after a few years of my marriage, I will then blog about how I felt when i was newly married. For now, its seems like only yesterday, I was uncertain about many...things...and such.

Time is tricky. preserve it. love it. go with it. utilize it. and for God's sake, blog about it.
xoxo
Farida

Nosy People.

i just want to go out on the limb and say that i tend to shy away from nosy people.
people who might act aloof around you in person, act like B listers, but then feel the need to inquire about your life to others.

strange people. the same ones who might glaze over you on certain communities, certain soirees, but then just need to know how you are fairing. searching for your personal tidbits, or then wasting there time digging for gossip from other acquaintances.

i am not above anyone, but if i dont care about you, i really dont. in other words, if i want your acquaintance--i will acknowledge it. i will never PRETEND to like you.

 

as far as gossip is concerned, i am shamefully admit, its not something i practice everday, but i have--in my not so wise and not so mature days..we are maturing, are we not?

turning 30 in 8 mos. life is getting more adult like everyday. forget the married label, maturity has nothing to do with your marital status, degrees, or income levels.  i have met some childish married people and i have met some seriously mature level headed responsible 20 somethings.

age is nothing. maturity is how you grow in your heart and soul, and with life.
jealous, callous, fake, and snobby people are stunted.

oh, if this seems self-righteous or snobby, then please pardon me, that is not the intention. this is just to be clear on certain topics. if you know me, then i don't really need to explain, do i?

what are your pet peeves?

curiousity kills the cat. but I have a blog. i am searchable. i only share what i want.

the road to being a better person starts with acknowledgement of one's own imperfections and dark side, achieving humility, attainining modesty, living sincerely, and acting with intent. that's good intent.

this world of yours.

i guess shock doesn't shock me anymore. I'm not a pessimist or a fatalist..i have adopted realism. I truly believe in miracles, hope,  fulfilled dreams and answered prayers. I can say that with clarity. I have experienced all of those in my 29 years. born and raised in America. thats right. i can say that.

i can also admit i have a hard time grasping some people's depression. "some people", as in general people, people without names, people with stories and people with broken souls.

first off its true you don't really know until you are where they are.  you cant really say you understand unless you have walked in their shoes. given.

now. what is with comparative sympathy?
my life sucks. no my life sucks more than your.

truth is:

THEIR Life sucks. bc you think your life sucks. is this making any sense yet? have you tied in all of this yet? can you piece this code together with the bits of mermaid you know? can you?

allow me to clarify.

last week when i was multitasking, surfing channels, blogging and talking on the phone. i came across the Millionaire show. The topic was POP CULTURE Millionaire Show. The contestant was so proud that she and her friends prepared for over a year to know every piece of pop culture from the 80s' onward. Her friends helped her with trivia and research, and now she is sitting on the millionaire thrown proud to use her lifeline and use her knowledge of the artist formerly known as prince and leg warmers to win her some big money so she can take a cruise with her best friends.

seriously. i was a little perturbed. how can you devote so much time to this?

rushed thoughts from moi

ok so i waited till the last second...but the good news is i am sore from my workout! yay! i know, its good news...im finally getting the spirit together...thanks to good girl friends...we all know i had put on some poundage after i gave up smoking of 8 years and got married...ugh, so depressing...i thought quitting smoking was the hardest thing to do, but no, losing all this weight is pretty damn hard...and bc i was down about my weight gain, i dont want to see old friends and family, silly right> its the truth--but the h and i started weights and resistance training to help me...yay...and inshallah after the holidays, im taking a friends advice and getting a trainer for a month..just to get me going again..