INCURABLE OPTIMIST

Thought for TODAY:

NOW SHOWING: Gratitude Attitude

I am really excited about my new blog series titled, “The Gratitude Attitude”. As you may recall I did a series last year called, “64 Days of Nonviolence”. Following that tradition I decided it is time to shake up my blog with some episodes of thanks.

It is time to search from within and share with you all what I find. It goes without saying, that all the while I am giving thanks in my posts, I will share my most honest feelings with you all, with careful consideration of my private life.
I also hope that I am able to inspire, evoke emotions, desires, and self-reflecting moments in you.
If I can reach at least one reader at any given moment I will consider this a success. I have read books on gratitude, I have read blogs about gratitude, and I have experienced the effects of gratitude in my own life. I have also experienced the flip side of withholding thanks too. That’s why I cannot claim this is an original idea.

It is an inspired idea and hopefully an introspective exercise that you can participate in too. I will start with two weeks of posts simply title: “3 Good Things”. The last two weeks will be posts titled, “Thank You”. At the end I will gather what I learned from “The Gratitude Attitude” exercise and share my findings with you all.

It is important for me to also share the fact that I have never done such an exercise and have a spontaneous approach to each post. In other words, it will be real-time blogging. All I know is that I have 31 days to express gratitude 31 ways. Let’s see if I evolve in my journey. I encourage you to join me in this journey.

Feel free to share this series and blog with anyone you might think might benefit from this. You can follow this blog via RSS. You can follow the series with Category Tag: “The Gratitude Attitude”.
Also if you are on twitter you can ping me there, @adiraf.

Thank You,

Farida Ansari Rafique

Here Comes September

3 months left till 2010. Can you believe it? I can't. The year has flown by and frankly, so many changes in my life; consisting of  epiphanies, perseverance, diligence, faith, tears, smiles, gains, and losses. Man, this has been an eye-opening, life affirming year. Guess what? It's not over yet. That's right you have 3 more months to make something go. I have learned much, and I have taken some heart breaking times and turned them into lessons I needed to learn. There was no way I would have learned or toughen up with out enduring a little. I am grateful for those moments. Oh, and not to shock my readers with an emo post, but I just want to blurt out; "I forgive it all." I am letting stuff go. Delete. I sincerely believe every good action is rewarded in life and often we find ourselves giving to some who don't appreciate it. Call it optimism and hope that keeps your actions aligned with your heart.

Sometimes you are put in the position of supporting, cheering, and celebrating first. Because You believe all beautiful moments are on a divine clock for each individual. Oh well,No regrets. All you can do is honor your truest self; after all you know you best. You and the Guy upstairs. 

I have learned lately through my writing that I am an indeed a soft, yet strong person. I feel and I share. My life is a journey of expression. That is my purpose in life. To share messages of hope, triumph, humanity through various mediums. I am not a robot. I don't run on auto-pilot and only use exclamations points.

Not every day is super-out of this world amazing, but it is a gift and is amazing. It is amazing. Health, jobs, shelter, are gifts-indeed. That's what makes those days that we have to do ritual tasks and work- wonderful days, because they are part of the process. Your life started at Point A the journey to Point B is always a colorful one. Excitement, contentment, fulfillment, beauty; all is subjective.

So anyways, yeah, this seems more like an end of the year post, but for me, it marks a new beginning. I know I tend to be cryptic, but I like to call it private. Plus, I hope that my vague references can be applied to you too. Because our lives have central themes. Right? I am excited for September. I am excited for all the newness I am about to embrace. I am eager to explore my destiny even further. Yeah, I am doing the homework, [homework in reference to the student of life metaphor], keeping the faith, and sharing the best of me. The H and I are working hard, and can't wait to share with you all. September, You rock.

xoxo

Farida

Twitter:        @adiraf
Tumblr:         DIGITAL BIN

personal blog:  Constantly Seeking Inspiration

A Mermaid's Evolution Part 1: Eight Psychological Types

One of the first books I bought when I got into Psychoanalysis was, "Introducing Jung" by Maggie Hyde and Michael McGuiness. I highly recommend this book if you never heard of Carl Gustav Jung, and want to learn about archetypes and myths. I was lucky enough to work with a Jungian Psychoanalysis back in 2003. At that time in my life I was interested in making sense of my writing styles and other areas of my life. Needless to say, it opened many chapters in my life and opened my mind to a whole other world of creative exploration and meditation. It was also when I realized that my archetype was the "Mermaid". I am sure you have taken notice of my Mermaid fondness in my blog, "Take a Dive, Make a Splash". (You have if you have been following Farida blog since 2001 ). Seven years later, I am out growing the "Mermaid" archetype in my writing.

I am not sure if I will keep the title of my blog, considering I want to whole-heartedly focus on my new calling and central theme in life. Which, I am still exploring; this time without the guidance of a Mentor, but through my own writings and meditation. I am eager and excited about the uncertainty of the new muse/theme/archetype I will channel into my work. Only time will tell. You do have to keep an open mind however, when approaching this subject. It is easier to understand and hard to explain, if you don't already get it.

I am sure I will journal more about this process in the near future. One observation I have made in my life recently is, that how in some areas I have become so much stronger, and other areas where I was titanium, have softened up a bit. I am sure these lessons are in preparation for something greater. I can feel it in my bones, in my cells, and in my mind.  I don't share as much as I used to. Do not get me wrong, I still share my blessings, good thoughts, and wishes. It's those candid thoughts, the almost private thoughts, that I used to freely share, I sometimes miss. I am definitely more guarded in more areas of my life. The experiences in the last few years of my life have proved themselves to me.

Writing is such an outlet. More than a passion sometimes, but an expression. Whether or not, I have readers or not, the idea of putting it out there is freeing. Although I cannot lie, it is always nice to know I have readers. It makes it all the better. I like to think all the "matter" I cannot share concretely, I spread through out my writings and characters like layers.

Writers, at all levels are creating something from themselves. It is  selfish, it's maternal/paternal, it's proof, and it's a living testament of their life. Good or bad, a writer's mark is made with every punctuation and paragraph.
Words don't die. They live. Maybe discreetly, under folders, in flash drives, in leather bound notebooks, scratch pads and even post its. They live on forever.

More on this matter later in part 2. In the meantime, I scanned a few pages from the book. The book is filled with entertaining illustrations of the different psychological types. Take a look and enjoy. Oh, one more thing, you can click to enlarge the image.

With Love,
Farida Ansari Rafique

 

 

5 minute journal: Click. Click. Click.

*a quick journal post, on the fly.*

-Farida

Click. Click. Click. Switch- static-Click.

 

“Sponge”, me? Yes, that is so. That is what they call, Information overload?

Please make room for some more data. The universe is expanding and you are growing. Filling up space, it’s not hard, just different. Pardon the simple words. They are from the heart; they say what I feel, and nothing more.

 

Rhythm is present in everything.

Flow is beautiful.

Share some more? No mystery here, just rather be unclear.

Energy never dies. It is the law before it was a title of an album.

I maybe late to the party, but according to my watch I am on time.

 

Crossed off would be items. Met my episodic for the first time. Loving it deeply. Can’t wait to share it with the world. It is created. This is where I start speaking in abstract.
Not much fun to figure out. There is nothing to figure out, if there is no inclination to.

 

The past is certainly not part of the present. No need to delete. It is all saved in my leather bound notebook. All etched in my head. What I didn’t say has been typed out, and the lines to be delivered.

 

For the lovely souls I met along the way. Couldn’t say it enough.

What I have learned in my short time on terra firma, is what you give, give, give, you do receive, receive, receive. Not always from the ones you gave to, but in mysterious ways, ways of the Creator, ways of the Universe.

You do, sometime receive a lesson or two, but those too, are priceless; gifts. I think you would agree too.

 

Be who you are, and nothing less. You are one of the kind. You can only be your own best. The higher the goals, the unthinkable the goals to some—all the sweeter it will taste when you get there. Be steady. Keep steady. Keep the faith. Soon, everything falls into place. Work is not work, when it’s passion. Every step is a step towards a fulfilled purpose. Each deadline, each roadblock, is a new growth. It is an opportunity to learn and be in charge of your own path.

 

No one ever got to his or her destination without doing some individual work. It’s so.

Life is what you believe it to be. “Crunchy granola, anyone”?

 

Flip flip. Scan. Scan. Scan.

Highlight. Underline.

Type. Type. Type.

Read, absorb, read, time alone. Study time. Make it so.

You are a sponge. This is information overload.

Expand your mind. Grow.

This is indeed Time.

No better time, no past time, any future time.

Represent yourself. 

The time is now.

"The World As I See It"

When we survey our lives and endeavors we soon observe that almost the whole of our actions and desires are bound up with the existence of other human beings. We see that our whole nature resembles that of the social animals. We eat food that others have grown, wear clothes that others have made, live in houses that others have built.

The greater part of our knowledge and beliefs has been communicated to us by other people through the medium of a language which others have created.

Without language our mental capacities would be poor indeed, comparable to those of the higher animals; we have, therefore, to admit that we owe our principal advantage over the beasts to the fact of living in human society.

The individual, if left alone from birth would remain primitive and beast-like in his thoughts and feelings to a degree that we can hardly conceive. The individual is what he is and has the significance that he has not so much in virtue of his individuality, but rather as a member of a great human society, which directs his material and spiritual existence from the cradle to the grave.

The example of great and pure characters is the only thing that can produce fine ideas and noble deeds.

 A man's value to the community depends primarily on how far his feelings, thoughts, and actions are directed towards promoting the good of his fellows. We call him good or bad according to how he stands in this matter. It looks at first sight as if our estimate of a man depended entirely on his social qualities.
     
And yet such an attitude would be wrong. It is clear that all the valuable things, material, spiritual, and moral, which we receive from society can be traced back through countless generations to certain creative individuals. The use of fire, the cultivation of edible plants, the steam engine — each was discovered by one man.
     
Only the individual can think, and thereby create new values for society — nay, even set up new moral standards to which the life of the community conforms. Without creative, independently thinking and judging personalities the upward development of society is as unthinkable as the development of the individual personality without the nourishing soil of the community.
     
The health of society thus depends quite as much on the independence of the individuals composing it as on their close political cohesion.


The World As I See It

Albert Einstein

I appreciate it. All of it.

Really wanted to say this today. I know I feel this way more than I say it. So if you stumble upon this post, please don't glaze over it. I mean it. Thank You.

Why? Everything that has happened up till now has been a part of my process. I wouldn't change anything ever. All the highs, all the lows, and all the in-between times are blessings. One million and one blessings. I wouldn't change one hurt, one single challenge ever, because it prompted growth.

Am I being mushy? Do I care? Does it matter? Just wanted to thank every being in my life up till now. The biggest being, the Creator, and all the Love I have ever experienced.

I am truly grateful. So Thank You. Did I close a deal? Did I create life? Did I make a profit of 15 million? Did I see miracles? Every day is a miracle. Every day is a day that speaks volumes. A day that has added to my dialogue, to my characters, to my message and to my being. Too abstract to understand? Do you read on the surface? Do you read in between the lines? Do you pick apart paragraphs? Do you deconstruct thoughts? Do you peel away layers? Think.

Gratitude. Plain and simple. I chose to express it more externally today. Why you may ask? Why not? They say a smile is contagious. I'm coining gratitude contagious. Let it spread like a field of flowers. Let it grow in our hearts. Remember, (oh, and I remind myself this too when I need it) it can always be worse. Focus on what's right, what's in control, what is working for you. Work on what's not and keep your eye on the prize, your mind on your goal and your heart open to gratitude. You will never be at loss when you share and you know you are being taken care of. Share, trust the process. Share your good thoughts, your sympathy, your help, your ears, your smile, your knowledge, your job leads, your intent, your miracles, your wealth, your spirit, share.

Abundance recycles in so many ways. Ways that work in unexpected ways. Miracles happen over night. Solutions appear in your heart. Will stronger than ever. Believe. Your life is your process. Don't concern yourself with the popular vote, the safe way, if you have that passion, the desire, it will all fall into place. Risks involve faith. Win big, risk big. If you don't get the outcome you expected, it's what is best at the given moment, that will in turn lead you to other better paths. But it won't make sense now. Trust it. Trust the process. Share. Say Thank You. Smile. Keep Charging ahead. Don't despise small beginnings. Keep the faith. Keep charging ahead. Share. Say Thank You. Smile.

It's about time I share my feelings about my own theories more publicly. How life works (well, I'm student for life, so that's a work in progress ;) )How it synchronizes meaningful coincidences in your favor; when you least expect it. Those are times that you just sit back in awe, and say, "THANK YOU".

Wanted to throw this out there. A thought that I usually don't share, but hope in time you will see what I am trying to do not only for myself; but for others who are out there living the process, keeping the faith, and charging ahead. Good Luck to each and every one of you. Wish you much success. Remember when you do get there to share, say Thank You, smile and Keep charging ahead.

With love,

Farida Ansari Rafique

What is stopping you?

"I am infinite being. The age of my body has no bearing on what I do or who I am."

I absolutely believe that our soul life is in stages. We live here and we exit here to live somewhere else. Hopefully in a more peaceful and loving place. Therefore, it makes sense to realize that we are infinite in that sense. Life is measured in years on Earth, but measured entirely by different scale in the big picture of the Creator's Universe.
This affirmation really ties me to my focus when I need to be reminded that only I can limit myself. You are never too old to start anything. You are never too old fulfill a goal. You are never too old to give it all you got. At the end of day you have to remember; you have ONE life here on Earth. How do you want to spend it? Do you wish to carry regret? Do you wish to operate at 50%? Do you wish to share only a portion of you and your gifts? Give all of you. Share your blessings with those who need them and even those you might think may not. Start believing in everyday miracles. Age is nothing but a number, an excuse, a limitation. You are more than your age. You are more than a number. You have so much to offer. So much to share. So much to receive.
Time passed-forget about. Time-present, embrace it.
What is stopping you? (answer this in depth next entry).

-Farida

Affirmation courtesy of Dr.Dyer.

Test i-post

Words to end the evening with:
"Life is forever expanding...anything that's not growing is dying."

Go go grow!

Do You Feel Like Today?

Today is today. Do you feel like today? Are you  here today? Or are you going to let today slip away because you are steamrolling ahead. Stop and take a moment to breathe mindfully. However mundane today is; however hectic exciting today is; just pause and say thank you for today. Pause and feel today. That is how I am feeling. The following passage is perfect for today's meditation.
Enjoy,
Farida

"Normal day, let me be aware of the treasure you are.
Let me learn from you, love you, bless you before you depart.
Let me not pass you by in quest of some rare and perfect tomorrow.
Let me hold you while I may, for it may not always be so.
One day, I shall dig my nails into the earth, or bury my face in the pillow or stretch myself taut, or raise my hands to the sky and want,
more than all the world, your return."

Mary Jean Iron

I've Been Riding "This" All Week

Been riding this "thought" all week. It just makes sense. It can be applied to anyone. I mean you can apply this to lovey dovey stuff, work stuff, health stuff, money stuff, goals, etc. You get it?

I can go on and on with this "thought", this mantra that I have been bill boarding everywhere. Heck, I could have made t-shirts. Oh, let me tell you, it's not an original thought. That's right, it's shared, it's inspired, it's lived. Aren't all thoughts really connected? I believe in pure innovation, but believe thoughts are interconnected and inspired.

I guess I should get to the point, considering its 1:30 am on a Friday night before my out-of town Guest arrives, and I still need to frost the orange chocolate cake I made. A cake that will probably look a little lopsided but taste damn good. Because it's all about substance baby. Isn't it?

Orange you say? Yes, orange because it's a little unexpected, a little MOD, a little off the road. Even cakes have their own personalities. Never met a  Coconut Cream that I didn't like. Seriously, stay away from the Red Velvet, total hater. For real. That cream cheese frosting; watch out!

Yes, that "thought" I have been toting around with my other old found wisdom. What to make of it?  I am telling you, I know too many good beings sitting in their homes watching a ticker tape  parade. Pondering, wondering, lingering, and sometimes even, yes, even, dreaming. Oh no, not the "D" word! Dreaming, when did that become so bad? Who is the Brazil Nut that attached the unattainable value to the word "Dream". Can I wiki it?  The dictionary defines it as: a strongly desired goal or purpose b: something that fully satisfies a wish.
I think we should all be Dreamers again. We should all be born again Dreamers. Dreamers Have feelings too {put that on a bumper sticker!}.

Which almost brings me to my "thought", remember it's an inspired thought. It running through like minds as I type like bursts of electricity. The thought is zipping through the universe. (Think mini fireworks of neon pink and yellow, if you are the visual type).

I  must warn you it's rather simple. Not much to it. But, it's one of those simple yet powerful phrases that when read at the right time, it makes sense and puts things in motion. Provided the right time and right frame of mind.

"There is no better time than NOW. Go do your thing! The Time is NOW."

It made sense to me this week. It's confirmed. *Click* *Light Bulb* *harp*

xoxo
Farida

10 List: Bit by Bit

For this 10 list I am stringing bits from conversations I have had in the past few weeks with an array of lovely personalities. A mix bag of quotes really. Inspiration comes in many forms, through various mediums.  Like I have said before, it might be cliche, but so true, the World is my Muse. I just might quote YOU.

-Farida

You can see my previous 10 List entries HERE
**Quotes from Others.

1. You know you are maturing when you start "examining" yourself. Asking yourself those hard questions. Be open to honest answers and making changes.
2. I feel like I am going to miss the boat. If I don't now, I never will. It's sink or swim. It's think and swim.**
3. Why do some people  drive around in Beatles with stuffed animals in their windows? I mean, who wants to drive a cute Car? The worst part, they know they are cute.**
4. Time is valuable. On the flip side,"no time" is an excuse. People always make time for what matters. We are selfish like that.
5. One wrong decision can lead you to ten right decisions. **
6. Age appropriate? No thank you. There are no restrictions to your personality. What you do and how you do it is an extension of you. A number is not holding me back.
7. It's like one day I woke up and said, "Done with the niceties". If you stink, I am calling you on it. If you rock, then I'm going to high-five you.**
8. I rather give my attention and time to people who need it and deserve it. My emotions and heart can be invested doing some good in this world.
9. Go out and buy that book. It made me cry and answered questions I have had for a while. I want to buy like so many and give 'em out as gifts. Well, not you. But other people.
10. If it's not bringing me closer to my goals, it's taking me away farther. Bit by bit, it's process, but you do get there.

Creating the Unexpected

Expectations and belief are the sculptors of reality.
Whatever we expect will be our experience. If we expect recovery to be hard, painful, and lifelong, that is what life will give us. If we learn to still our expectations, we will be constantly amazed at life's gifts.
Joseph V. Bailey, The Serenity Principle

Creating Happiness

True happiness is the ability, developed over time and with practice, to radiate positive energy regardless of external or internal circumstances.
Dan Millman, No Ordinary Moments

"Be Water My Friend"

“Empty your mind, be formless, shapeless - like water. Now you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup, you put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle, you put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”
(Bruce Lee)

Photo Credit: T Frissell

How does your Garden grow?

Let the light shine in your garden,
Feel the rays kiss your mind.
Find peace in your body,
Let your thoughts grow.

-Farida

Beautiful Words 07-21-08

Another enriching excerpt from Courses titled, "Thought". I felt it would be a good idea to start off the work week with a little piece on the powers of your own thoughts. (I kind of liked it!) (I liked it!)

read on..

There is no more self-contradictory concept than that of "idle thoughts."
What gives rise to the perception of a whole world can hardly be idle.

Every thought you have contributes to truth or to illusion;
either it extends the truth or it multiplies illusions.

Every thought you have makes up some segment of the world you see.
It is with your thoughts, then, that we must work,
if your perception of the world is to be change.

Nothing but your own thoughts can hamper your progress.

Your ability to direct your thinking as you choose is part of its power.
If you do not believe you can do this you have denied the power of your thought,
and thus rendered it powerless in your belief.

You may believe that you are responsible for what you do, but not for what you think.

The truth is that you are responsible for what you think,
because it is only at this level that you can exercise choice.

What you do comes from what you think.

"Choice"

Let this one soak in; if you will. This is from the Course in Miracles.

Choice
Deceive yourself no longer that you are helpless
in the face of what is done to you.
Acknowledge but that you have been mistaken,
and all effects of your mistakes will disappear.

If you choose to see yourself as unloving
you will not be happy.
You are condemning yourself
and must therefore regard yourself as inadequate.

Trials are but lessons that you failed to learn
presented once again,
so where you made a faulty choice before
you now can make a better one,
and thus escape all pain
that what you chose before
has brought to you.

It is still up to you to choose
to join with truth or with illusion.
But remember that to choose one is to let the other go.

Pain is illusion;
joy, reality.
Pain is but sleep;
joy is awakening.
Pain is deception;
joy alone is truth.
And so again we make
the only choice that ever can be made;
we choose between illusions and the truth,
or pain and joy,
or hell and Heaven.

I am responsible for what I see.
I choose the feelings I experience,
and I decide upon the goal I would achieve.
And everything that seems to happen to me
I ask for and receive as I have asked.

Day 31 of 64 Ways: Praising

31. Praising
Appreciation helps people grow. Offer praise to at least 3 people today for their personal qualities, achievements, or helpful service.
Feb. 29

Go-getters, self-motivated types, usually don't seek out praise or approval of others. They rely on their own sense of knowing and confidence. But it doesn't hurt to hear a few words of kindness. How long does it take to make someone's day? A few words to recognize their good work, talents, or acts, is a morale booster. I definitely think, someone going through a tough time, needs a friend to point out their strengths to them. Make someone's day. It doesn't cost a thing. -Farida

This entry is a part of the "64 ways to practice nonviolence" series. Read my introductory entry here for more information.

Days 1 - 23 focus on Personal change.
Nonviolence begins by learning how to be less violent and more compassionate with ourselves. We learn by building courage to speak and act with a respect, honor and reverence for our own being.
Days 24 - 46 focus on Interpersonal change.
In order to create a peaceful world, we must learn to practice nonviolence with one another in our day-to-day interactions.
Days 47 - 64 focus on Community.
Nonviolence challenges us to stand for Truth by taking action that honors the dignity and worth of every human being.

The Season for Nonviolence is January 30 through April 4th each year.

On the Fear of Change

Fear of change and fear of the unknown are just malaise of the ego. You don't have to know what will happen in the future in order to feel safe. In fact, the more you evolve and expand your consciousness, the more unpredictable life becomes. The less certain you are, the higher you have climbed.

Cozy, unchanging rhythms are manifestation of the intellect. Often dull and stifling, they are only suited to the lazy or those who lack courage--those who prefer to exist in a confined, defendable area where nothing unexpected can happen. Important fish in little puddles, swimming in their own effluent.

You don't need a puddle, and there's not much oxygen in a pond either. Pick a river. Flow and go. Be fearless, believe. Let the energy of life carry you spontaneously from stepping stone to stepping stone. Win your freedom. Reach for the open sea. All will be well.

Resistance to change is mostly ego.

All fear is nothing more than the ego's expectancy of an upcoming contradiction. Most of it is not real. Dissipate its power by refusing to buy the emotion. Make fear your friend. Talk to it. Accommodate it as a helper and ally and most of your fear will change or disappear completely.

Taken from Stuart Wilde's, "Weight Loss for the Mind".

Day 23 of 64 Ways: Prayer

23. Prayer:
“Prayer from the heart can achieve what nothing else in the world can,” said Gandhi. Begin and end the day with a prayer for peace. Let peace begin with you.
Feb. 21st

My first prayer of the day is at Fajr time; before sunrise. I try my best to make Fajr prayers. [even though it is a challenge for me-honestly.]I know if I make prayer at the start of the day, I feel more centered. I also feel when I begin my day with prayer, I have started my day with recognizing all the blessings Allah has blessed me with. I have also sought guidance. I pray for peace in all of the world. From Pakistan, Middle East to Africa and America.
Farida

This entry is a part of the "64 ways to practice nonviolence" series. Read my introductory entry here for more information.

Days 1 - 23 focus on Personal change.
Nonviolence begins by learning how to be less violent and more compassionate with ourselves. We learn by building courage to speak and act with a respect, honor and reverence for our own being.
Days 24 - 46 focus on Interpersonal change.
In order to create a peaceful world, we must learn to practice nonviolence with one another in our day-to-day interactions.
Days 47 - 64 focus on Community.
Nonviolence challenges us to stand for Truth by taking action that honors the dignity and worth of
every human being.

The Season for Nonviolence is January 30 through April 4th each year.

Day 19 of 64 Ways: Acceptance

19. Acceptance:
"Resentment, fear, criticism, and guilt cause more problems than anything else", says Louise Hay. Today, choose not to judge yourself. See yourself as unique, loving, capable and bright!
Feb. 17th

Honestly, this is difficult at some times. I am committed to positive thinking. So in my own way, I recognize my strengths and I celebrate them.

Farida

This entry is a part of the "64 ways to practice nonviolence" series. Read my introductory entry here for more information.

Days 1 - 23 focus on Personal change.
Nonviolence begins by learning how to be less violent and more compassionate with ourselves. We learn by building courage to speak and act with a respect, honor and reverence for our own being.
Days 24 - 46 focus on Interpersonal change.
In order to create a peaceful world, we must learn to practice nonviolence with one another in our day-to-day interactions.
Days 47 - 64 focus on Community.
Nonviolence challenges us to stand for Truth by taking action that honors the dignity and worth of
every human being.

The Season for Nonviolence is January 30 through April 4th each year.

Introducing "64 Ways" on www.faridarafique.com Blog

Dear friends of Farida,
I am so excited for my blog, readers and friends! January 30th marks the beginning of the Season for Nonviolence. For 64 days I will post a "way" to practice Nonviolence in your life. Each entry will be tagged under "64 ways to practice nonviolence" and "peace studies". Feel free to pass the good word around or share the links.

From 1/30 through 4/4, "www.faridarafique.com" will be an active participant of this beautiful season.

Days 1 - 23 focus on Personal change.
Nonviolence begins by learning how to be less violent and more compassionate with ourselves. We learn by building courage to speak and act with a respect, honor and reverence for our own being.
Days 24 - 46 focus on Interpersonal change.
In order to create a peaceful world, we must learn to practice nonviolence with one another in our day-to-day interactions.
Days 47 - 64 focus on Community.
Nonviolence challenges us to stand for Truth by taking action that honors the dignity and worth of
every human being.

I really encourage you to follow each day if you can. I will be sharing my thoughts with each day's assignment. I am constantly learning more about nonviolence, peace and conflict resolution. For me, its a treat to learn the communication theory and practice behind the concept of peace. It's really heartwarming material. I love sharing this knowledge with my friends. I have never felt more fulfilled and reassured, that this is the path I wish to take.

With love and peace,
Farida

Read more about the history of 64 days below:

[photo by Farida Rafique]

The 64 days between the assassination anniversaries of Mahatma Gandhi (Jan 30th) and Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. (April 4th) were designated as the SEASON FOR NONVIOLENCE in Los Angeles in 1998. Each of the 64 days was linked to a "way" to practice active nonviolence.

Since then, The Season For Nonviolence has grown into an international grassroots campaign dedicated to demonstrating that nonviolence is a powerful way to heal, transform, and empower our lives and our communities. There are many more than 64 Ways to practice nonviolence, but the designated Season gives us a time to focus on decreasing violence in our lives and our communities by learning to practice nonviolence.

We learn to practice nonviolence one step at a time, one choice at a time, one day at a time. Through our daily nonviolent choices and actions, the noble and courageous spirit within each of us expresses itself as the skills, wisdom and character of a nonviolent human being. This is how we each, in our own way, move the world in a direction of peace. (A Season for Nonviolence-Los Angeles, 1998)

Farida on "The Future of Mankind"

"Affluence without Wisdom is self-destructive". Can you feel it? I have spent the day revisiting Tara Singh's morsels of wisdom on peace, life, politics and human relationships. Beautiful writing, beautiful book. Although, Singh does not share the same religious beliefs as I, his thoughts transcend into my life without hesitation. Singh concept of God is very different from mine. Yet, I find many parallels in our quest for quality of life and peace. It's not a religious text, its just a discourse on the way we take and contribute in this world. This is probably one book that literally lifted me out of any kiddish optimism I had about our dealings in the society and put me in realistic and hopeful path towards change on a grand scale. Did I turn into a pessimist that constantly bitches about the world and its ill?

No. What it did is, made me angry about all the injustices we see passively give up on. That anger rerouted turned into realistic change. Change starts with us. We may not feel we can control all the injustices, but if we take care of just one, and parent it into a positive. Then we have done the bare minimum. That is change. I believe that change will gain momentum in our lifetime and instill more positive changing moments around us, our families, and the people we speak for that have been silenced by war, corruption, disease, famine, loneliness and despair.

I believe it in my bones. I do.

With love and peace,
Farida

Here are some excerpts from the book: [yes i typed it all out. hard to find it online]

Personal activity brings about war, hate and fear. A still mind, at peace, is a benediction. It is a state in which we are not dependent on anything, not even learning.

The preoccupation of "learning" is a nuisance we must end. We have always been fascinated by it and self-convinced that we wanted to know and live by truth. But we used the preoccupation itself to actually evade what we are seeking. In this there is an inherent deception.

We are caught in the idea of becoming. The personal mind-which in reality is the brain with its physical senses-becomes any idea it formulates. But awareness is never contaminated. The awakened mind never deviates into abstract thought. It dissolves it.

“Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.”

“The more one sees of human fate and the more one examines its secret springs of action, the more one is impressed by the strength of unconscious motives and by the limitations of free choice"

Carl Jung

On Overwhelming Emotions: You're like a Tree

I found this blurb to be most comforting; from Vietnamese Monk Thich Nhat Hanh.
I love to read different religious text and spiritual teachings. From Christian, Islamic, [my own!] Buddhist, Yoga, Kabala and Sufi. I am always open to learning about other faiths, and exploring the philosophy behind their beliefs. Nine out of ten times, I find a message about peace and living compassionately. I guess achieving happiness, seeking fulfillment, and peaceful coexistence are universal.

Read On.....

On Overwhelming Emotions :
"An emotion is like a storm," he said. "It comes, stays for awhile and goes...

"When you look out through the window in the time of a storm you can see the trees out there suffer, bending back and forth before the force of the wind," he continued.

"You may have the feeling that the tree is going to break, to be blown away every time a strong emotion comes to us. We may have the impression that we are about to crack. But if we know how to look deep down to the level of the trunk of the body--if we know that the tree is deeply rooted in the soil--then that feeling of fragility and vulnerability will not be there.

"We are like the tree; we have the top of the tree which is on the level of our brain and our heart when the storm of the emotion comes, and if it stays on the level of thinking and feeling we might feel vulnerable, fragile. But if we know how to bring our attention down to the level of our abdomen, navel--if we know how to practice mindful breathing and pay attention to the rise and fall of our abdomen--then we'll be safe. We are with the trunk of the tree and not the top of the tree."

On Pain, Wounding, Faith, and Rebirth

Taken

First, you must let your heart
be broken open
in a way you have never
felt before,
cannot imagine.

You will
not know if what you are
feeling
is anguish or joy,
something predestined
or merely old wounds
flowing once more,
reminders of all that is
unfinished in your life.

Something will flood into
your chest
like air sweetened by
desert honeysuckle,
love that is too
strong.

You will stand there,
very still,
not seeing what this is.
Later, you will not remember
any of this
until the next time
when you will say,
yes, yes, I have known this before,
it has come again,
just as your eyes fold under
once more.

Dorothy Walker

Sufi style poetry on Pain, wounding, rebirth, and faith.

Farid on Examing Beyond One's Self

I thought I was alone who suffered

Says Farid,
I thought I was alone who suffered.
I went on top of the house,
And found every house on fire.

Baba Sheikh Farid

AudioBlog: Truth

"Truth" from Course in Miracles
Narrated and mixed by Farida Rafique

"Once the child is born, he continues to grow effortlessly"

An excerpt from one of my favorite authors, Tara Singh.

Please hesitate from scanning this entry and if time permits, read to comprehend. :)
-Farida

The truth is that there is peace and joy in life and we must find peace within. It must be your own direct experience. Unless you feel the gratefulness and peace within, you have understood nothing.

Mere understanding is of misunderstanding; it is an illusion.
Insist on knowing peace and gratefulness directly because as long as you do not know them,
you will be influenced and remain regulated by the physical senses and their preoccupation with nothingness.

....

As long as you are with peace and gratefulness you will have a much stronger base from which to work. You will have created some space within you--that space is gratefulness.

The minute you have been touched by gratefulness, the illusions will begin to dissolve.
That action is like a new birth:
once the child is born, he continues to grow effortlessly.

[pp. 128-129, "Nothing Real Can be Threatened"]

A New Beginning

There will come a time
when images have all gone by,
and you will see you know not what you are.

It is to this unsealed and open mind
that truth returns, unhindered and unbound.

Where concepts of the Self have been laid by
is truth revealed exactly as it is.

-C.M

Questions: Reflection

1. What was the last nice thing you did for someone?
2. What was the last nice thing someone did for YOU?
3. What is one thing you want to accomplish this week?
4. What is one thing you DID accomplish this week?
5. What news topic really leaves you with a bitter taste in the mouth?
6. What was the most recent "creative" thing you did?
7. What is one thing you have to do, but really hate to do?
8.   ----  How can you change that into something you love?
9. What is ONE thing you would do if you had more time?
10. What is ONE thing you should NOT do when you have time?

Here are some questions to help you get moving. These questions are part of an experimental exercise that I have been working on for a while. I have not tested these yet, but plan on including these and other questions  in guided meditations.

Ask yourself these and jot down [mentally/write] the answers. Be honest.
You are welcome to share your answers here. Your answers will most likely motivate someone else reading this entry.

Regards,
Farida

"Nothing Real can be Threatened. Nothing unreal exists."

Every decision you make stems from what you think you are, and represents the value that you put upon yourself. Believe the little can content you, and by limiting yourself you will not be satisfied. For your function is not little, and it is only by finding your function and fullfilling it that you can escape from littleness.

We are who we are because we have limited ourselves to a very small sphere of existence, with its greed and fear, wishing and wanting. Yet life is more than self-survival.

More money is being spent on armament today than at any time in the whole history of mankind. Countries that cannot afford the luxury of toilet paper maintain armies and sophisticated, deadly weapons. Ours is no longer a war against the Capitalist or the Socialist; it is a war against the human being.

Wake up!
YOU are the human being!
And you support this tragedy with your prejudices.

 

selected excerpt from: The Future of Mankind by Tara Singh

Oxidize

The truth is like a cough drop, not always tasty exactly, but good for you. Our minds are congested with philosophical musings. Self-examinations are revelatory. Things change in a blink, and new ideas are so freaking' transformative. Who thinks a gold-plated trophy might look great on display, but does it really make you smile? Someone told me, "What was hard to endure is sweet to recall". I'm still waiting to be oxidized.

..act of birth and rebirth

Man can never know the kind of loneliness a woman knows. Man lies in a woman's womb only to gather strength, he nourishes himself from this fusion, and then he rises and goes into the world, into his work, into battle, into art. He is not lonely. He is busy. The memory of the swim in amniotic fluid gives him energy, completion. The woman may be busy too, but she feels empty. Sensuality for her is not only a wave of pleasure in which he has bathed, and a charge of electric joy at contact with another. When man lies in her womb, she is fulfilled, each act of love is a taking of man within her, and act of birth and rebirth, of child bearing and man bearing. Man lies in her womb and is reborn each time anew with a desire to act, to BE. But for a woman, the climax is not in the birth, but in the moment when man rests inside of her.

• May 25, 1932 The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Volume One 1931-1934

The Acid Test for Forgiveness

Sundays are good days to share good finds. I decided I will post select mind bytes from my personal library on Sundays. This is from the book, "The Power of your Subconcious Mind" by Dr. Joseph Murphy.
I have read this book 10 times over, and its intriguing each time.

The Acid Test for Forgiveness: [p. 187]

There is an acide test for gold. There is also an acid test for forgiveness. If I should tell you something wonderful about someone  who has wronged you, cheated you, or defrauded  you, and you sizzled at hearing the good news about this person, the roots of hatred would still be in your subconcious mind, playing havoc with you.

Let us suppose you had a painful abcess on your jaw a year ago. and you told me about it. I would casually ask you if you had any pain now. You would automatically say, "Of course not, I had a memory of it but no pain." That is the whole story.

You may have memory of the incident but not sting or hurt anymore. This is an acid test, and you must meet it pyschologically and spiritually, otherwise, you are simply decieving yourself and not practicing the true art of forgiveness.

To understand all is to forgive all.
8. If another criticizes you, and these faults are within you, rejoice, give thanks, and appreciate the comments. This gives you the oppurtunity to correct the particular fault.

10. When you pray for guidance and right action, take what comes.  Realize it is good and very good. Then there is no cause for self-pity, criticism or hatred.

13. To forgive is to give something for. Give love, peace, joy. wisdom, and all the blessings of life to the other, until there is no sting left in your mind.

Red is my New Blue

  tasbeeh heart 
  Originally uploaded by Farida Rafique.

“Red is my new Blue”
by Farida Rafique

Red is the color of my blood before it was blue.
I prance outside of myself,
To only discover all is not new.

I take a picture of myself
For my “eye” to see
I examine it with a new belief

I gently step back in and make what needs to be right
I still bleed red
But now with more Light

Sight is not what I only see
It’s all encompassing and all that is in relation to me

Is it what I want to perceive?
Or is it something new and shiny, which still remains unseen?

Yet, Red is still the color I bleed

The Four Men and the Intrepreter

Islam has been here longer than some published metaphysical new age authors..the universal law of attraction in relation with Islamic and Sufi beliefs are quite related...most of my unpublished short pieces have underlying sufi tones, alongside with my first screenplay, "Achieving Marifaat" and first short, "Tribute Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan"-- were my attempts to showcase the beauty of Islam and Sufism as a philosophy. As a practicing Muslim, I believe people interested in learning about Islamic way of life, should try to first approach Islam as a philosophy and then dive into the practical. This is of course my opinion.

Sufi Poetry and Sufi Music has always called me and pulled me in. Almost so, that at age 29 --i am now reading Hadith {Sayings of the Prophet PBUH} with more eagerness than I did when i was a young college student or even in high school. Faith fluctuates, but awareness of one's faith, needs to be cultivated. You have to ask yourself, why you believe and search for your faith identity. I guess this can be applied to faith of all kinds, not just Islam. Once again, this is my opinion, from my own personal experiences.

"Opening Your heart" is a constant phrase in sufi philosophy. Purifying your soul, remembrance, praying and fasting, all are ways to tranform you and aid you in a being a mindful concious person everyday.

I have plenty to share about this topic--till then, please enjoy this short story:

Four people were given a piece of money.
The first was a Persian. He said: 'I will buy with this some angur.'
The second was an Arab. He said: 'No, because I want inab.'
The third was Turk. He said: 'I do not want inab, I want uzum.'
The fourth was a Greek. He said: 'I want stafil.'
Because they did not know what lay behind the names of things, these four started to fight.

They had information but no knowledge.

One man of wisdom present could have reconciled them all, saying: 'I can fulfil the needs of all of you, with one and the same piece of money. If you honestly give me your trust, your one coin will become as four; and four at odds will become as one united.'

Such a man would know that each in his own language wanted the same thing, grapes.

- taken from the sufi Jalal-Uddin Rumi (d.1273)

a present for me?

i want to know somethings. what are you good at? seriously. what are your strengths? your hidden talents? your gifts? your specialties?

what would you like to do, that you haven't done yet, but think you would be good at it, if you did it?
think about it.

i wholeheartedly believe in my hearts of heart, that everyone possesses a strength, a quality, an art, a skill, that is truly tailored to their own being.

so, for all of you who ever thought you weren't good at anything--you are wrong!
you are too busy with life, bills, work, school, ups/downs--but when you get around to it, and cultivate that passion or hobby--you will blossom ten fold.

just really think, top of your head, take away all the titles, social demographics, the assumptions, the labels, and think, what are you good at? what is so wonderfully unique about you? and if for some reason, an inner voice replies, "nothing" ---slap it. thats not you.

you are wonderful. absolutely wonderful, because you are you, there is NO one like you in the universe. seriously, no doppelganger can substitute you. you are an amazing soul with so much potential, its ridiculous! i am telling you, when you get your life in order again, and that time will come, when you cut the bull shit out, that time will come, you will surface again--oh my what a feast for the soul? YOU at your full potential is successful, is happy, is YOU.

so go ahead be my guest. tell yourself, declare it out loud. i am good at:
i can do [blank} well. you get the drift.

and if you think you might be good at it because you have natural talent..then please, pretty please, start today, even if life is consuming you whole, and you are 40 hour plus person, constant nagging person, making excuses person, depressed person, just start. don't over think. just start!

simple task to start with today. write it down. just one piece of paper. write it down. make a plan. put it aside, revisit it again next week. keep on holding that mental note, that tangible note, work towards it, even if its at a molasses speed...surely, in time you WILL get there--you just have to WANT to get there, and the speed depends on how MUCH you want to get there.

yes, i was inspired today..and it wasn't an infomercial.
i am not speaking to anyone in particular..just my antithesis. [i think that's the right term-i hope its the right context] :)

Balloon Girl

call it what you will, i tend to be down with writer's block. the last month or so has been a stream of photos and ramblings about blogs...where has the writer gone to?

this picture really describes the way i have been feeling. the mind is up in there and almost sailing the whimsical plains of my subconcious, where the feet are pointed towards a  path and the head determined to get somewhere fast..patience has never been a virtue ..more like a life theme ..whimsical is the nature that i do adore about myself, for it does allows me to breath, and perhaps metaphysically glide into new thoughts and new places...

Balloon Girl

Mermaid's friend theory

my theory on friends. [shared by many i am sure]

categories of good friends:

1; Synergetic relationship: You are the Teacher and they are the Student. You are the Student and they are the Teacher. Either way, you mutually benefit each other by shedding light and help that friend progress to the next level in their life You have a synergetic pairing that thrives on each other's energy, a soul connection. You both grow. You both prompt growth in each other. Duration maybe for a lifetime or a long period of time. You can always pick up where you left off. You are on the same page.

2. Shoulder Friend: They are there to give you support. Unconditional hours of shoulder leaning. Vice Versa. Your issues dominate the conversation most of the time, until they taper off, and you then are a sounding board for them. Its  a good see saw balance friendship. When you are going through a low time, they are at their best and ready to support you. When you are at the height of your path, you are there for them unconditionally, to listen.

Litmus test for new friends: I discovered since i am settled in a new town and in a new marriage, I should have a litmus test for potential friends. Most of my dear friends i met through college and old school friends hangouts. So, now that I have no real inside way to community, the potential friends i do meet, if they give me a good vibe, and pass the litmus test, then they are worth the energy.

Compassion. That is the second part after the good vibe.
If they possess a compassionate heart then i know im interested in  knowing that person.

How do i figure that out?
Initial interests, spirituality [not religion, im mod religous, but i dont hold friend to my rel values], open hearted, a sense of humour, knowledge of the current state of affairs,  future goals.

this is just a litmus test. I have found in recent experience, that these topics bring out an intimate side of a person. For example, I was talking about Darfur and the person realy had no idea. The other person in the same circle, although very limited knowledge [just like my limited knowledge before i vested interest in the situation] was more open to knowing. THat told me they care about something other than themself.

i know its a strict litmus test, and its subject to change of course. this litmus test is really something i developed in good humour. So far, its worked.

Like attracts like. Universal law of attraction. I have found, that I seek company of mindful, introspective, knowledge seeking, knowledge sharing, down to earth individuals.

What are your thoughts?
What are your potential turn off to a potential friend?
I should add, i do believe in being given a second chance and offering that too. But, the first impression does have a lasting impression on me.

Do you believe that you know if that person is worth investing energy in, after the first meeting?
Boy this sounds like a relationship entry, but since i am  married, i apply this to new friends, because friendships are relationships.

I am open for discussion, comments, rants, and raves.

Still in Houston.

PS: i know this friend theory of mine will be update and enhance over time, since i have much to learn.

the last 10 days of Ramadan

Ramadan [which is the holiest month for Muslim, the month of Fasting] is slipping by, and I am sad...Ramadan is a blessing, a month devoted to cleansing the Soul, purifying the Heart, feeling Compassion and giving back to the community and the less fortunate...i have been listening to Prayers, and they are like these strong beautiful vibrations that just flow through my soul, I guess you all can relate to that feeling, when something you hear is so beautiful, it really just uplifts your soul..

a better use of time.

i was very close to posting something incredibly mundane, stupid, and useless fluff...i am glad i stopped myself...i was very irritated earlier in the day...but thank God for good friends..you know, the no fluff, kind, articulate, not caught in high school clique mentality, real ppl who keep it real-- types..thank God for the thinking and feeling ppl..thank God indeed....

i had a pretty intense day of work. if thats what you want to call it. my hobbies, my passion, my extra-curricular work, all stream into the Ocean I swim in...its all the same to me.

i did find some time during the busy day to doodle. yeah, i do that..can't be a tree hugger if i don't doodle....i have a collection of sharpies, markers, grease pencils and pastels...that would put a priviledged prep school tot to shame..but give me crayons and my imagination will add to the graffitti...

it's pretty late too..the H and I have been very busy with our projects...the H cannot go to bed without watching his poli-talks and talking heads...and myself, well...writing...drawing...and of course...blogging... i am reading 2 books and still yearning to buy MORE, when in God's name will i find the time? my mind is a sponge right now..give me more give me more more more........

i do want to end tonights blog with some poetry:

excerpt from:  The Conditions of  Peace

The mind which means that all it wants is peace
must join with other minds,
for that is how peace is obtained.

The only way to have peace
is to teach peace.

Do you not think the world needs peace
as much as you do?
Do you not want to give it to the world
as much as you want to recieve it?
For unless you do, you will not recieve it.

When you have accepted your mission
to extend peace
you will find peace,
for by making it manifest you will see it.

[this poem is extremely long and is mostly about inner peace, but i have learned, if you are at peace with yourself, you act in a more peaceful manner, and your words have more grace, more power, and more shelf life.

the last picture i doodled, I, the cheesy parisian-cafe in swtexas self [figure that one out, hint best tomato basil soup]

i hope it leaves you with something....

reality check 101 in session

i awaken a little early today. kind of restless and in need of some grounding. its also Shabe-Barath, an Islamic holy day. I really wish i had the vocabulary and the historical significance to explain to my readers what the exact significance is, but unfortunately i do not have that at the present moment. Inshallah [God Willing] I will.

this will be a short blurb, because i know today will be multiple post day. in fact, i know i have much to get off my chest. whether or not its relevant or news worthy to you is not the question. you can simply glaze over this as nothing more than my inner mind chatter. i wont be offended.

the last few days i have been seriously under weather. i don't have the flu or have a cold or allergies. i feel though, that i am weak, exhausted, and very fatigued. The H insists i go to the doctor or then fuel my electrolytes consistently. He is kind. I just don't like medicine. every time i visit the doctor for a good few hours following the visit i am a hypochondriac.  I would say for the last 4 years, i have seriously dodged the flu. [knock on wood!] and i attribute that to my homeopathic and natural medicine immune building. I take my vitamin C, echinacea, drink plenty of water, and try to stay preservative free. If i do ever "suffer", it's  migraines and ulcers. I have had migraines since i was 11 and an Ulcer since high school. Now I will pause and let you soak that in.

CONTENT CONTENT CONTENT

i like to read blogs with content. something i can take from, learn from, and give to. ..my friends' Private blogs are filled with CONTENT- but are private...they are more of a way to vent and follow up on life's moments..share congrats, sorrows, wishes, rants. I love reading them and to be included that private circle...and because they are private, I take more insight and personal growth.

i also have some friends who have gone FEATURE magazine route. They will post when they have creative writing, good bits of entertaining information, expose, political humour, and daily chronicles...those are FUN and informative too...especially when they get POLITICAL and invoke some hard line and hard hitting issues and theories..luv it.

this blog is kind of a combo deal..or at least i am working on it. The Goal is to go COMMERCIAL at some point, reach a large number of ppl..Commercial is not so disgusting. If I can promote my idea, my book, my films, my screenplays, my works, my thoughts, my fears, my insight, my dreams...and you all can relate--then i will have considered this a SUCCESS.

to my subscribers.

i have only 3 subscribers...and one of them is the H.
Thanks for Subscribing to me....:D

[i guess you lose popularity when u get married.]

top 10 topics to blog about in the next entries: [see how lazy i am]
1. i am sick. The H cooks and clean.
2. Human Rights Lit Class.
3. Dallas Peace Center and a dua [prayer] answered
4. what happens after you are married.
5. Babies.
6. Faith. Striving towards a deeper understanding and respect for your Deen [faith]
7. authenticity- living life BULL SHIT free.
8. Birthday
9. Anniversaries
10.glossary

yes luvvies.. i am really sick. so instead of blogging i will post a picture and share a excerpt from, "Course in Miracles". this will show you how i feel. {photo by f.rafique: addison park}

Thoughts:
You may believe that you are responsible for what you do,
but not for what you think.
The truth is that you are responsible for what you think,
because it is only at this level that
you can exercise choice.

What you do comes from what you think.

greetings. wedding album viewers

salams anonymous readers, lovely visitors.

i [edited]
  am trying to be more real in this new blog of mine. i feel like marriage does change a person in many ways than the obivous. and i think i can relate to many women when they discuss body issues, being a single muslim woman near 30, and ppl who might have put a hold on their dreams due to circumstances but now are back in the groove again-full force.

im in a new phase of my life. new city in my life. im trying to settle in, all while feeling uprooted from my comfy residence of 27 years in Houston, leaving my family, my girlfriends, and all my thinking.writing hotspots to be with my new partner, my new best friend in his home town, Dallas, Texas. its lonely in a way, bc I dont have  all my girlfriends except for Sandra, its lonely bc i dont have my usual circle,. Dont get me wrong I have my husband, but we all know ppl work, and a sense of community is very important for me. Meeting ppl /esp married couples or single Muslim Women who share the same values as you is proving to be very difficult. So, i went back to school. after 6 years i went back to school. I have also taken on many new hobbies to satisy my time, to get inspired, to meet fellow like minded individuals.

i have much to accomplish. inshallah. at times my dreams seem larger than life, but unless i try, i won't know. neither will you. so i hope my blog in some way in the future will provide some kind of comfort or assurance, optimism, or just get you thinking. I do that alot, thinking.

i am going to be more real on this blog. my old blog was definitely tailored and most of my thoughts were held back bc i wasnt ready to share everything. i am approaching 29 soon, and then 30, etc.....its time for me to me be 200 percent real.

i hope you enjoy my reality. i hope when you stop by  you say  "HI", this blog is not private or secret. its meant to be read. it wont shock me, i wont be offended.
of course as an added disclaimer: i reserve the right to NOT Comment on certain topics and change identities and withhold certains truth to honor privacy of my loved ones.

Lots of love and duas,
Farida